User User name Password  
   
Thursday 14.8.2025 / 20:52
Search AfterDawn Forums:        In English   Suomeksi   På svenska
afterdawn.com > forums > general discussion > safety valve > where did all the old timers go, a public meeting place for open discussion
Show topics
 
Forums
Forums
Where Did All The Old Timers Go, A Public Meeting Place For Open Discussion
  Jump to:
 
Posted Message
Senior Member
_
22. March 2007 @ 05:13 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
hi PETE :)

good to see you around buddy


gif by ireland

we cant help if you wont help yourself
Advertisement
_
__
gerry1
Suspended permanently
_
22. March 2007 @ 05:28 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
My Dad had heart surgery twice...a triple bypass and something to do with a heart valve. Good ol' Dad will be 101 years old in June and is still going strong! (sometimes he forgets what he's talking about in the middle of a sentence but instead of getting frustrated, he blushes and starts to laugh at himself...I think its that attitude that leads to long life!)

This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 22. March 2007 @ 05:29

AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 05:56 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
Hey Pete you hang in there old buddy we will be praying for you here! It is nice to see yoou in the forums. Keep in touch ;-)

Morning all I found this article in the Australian Shooter Magazine

Quote:
If you consider that there has been an average of

160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the past 22

months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of

60 per 100,000 soldiers.



The firearm death rate in Washington, DC is 80.6

per 100,000 for the same period. That means you are about 25% more

likely to be shot and killed in the U.S. capital, which has some of the

strictest gun control laws in the U.S., than you are in Iraq.


Conclusion?

The U.S. should pull out of Washington DC.




My Guides--------->http://webpages.charter.net/bacitup/
Newbies------------>http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/183136
Software ------->http://webpages.charter.net/bacitup/software.htm
AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 06:28 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
@bbmayo,
NOW that's what I'm talking about. On the other hand we could increase that rate by exterminating most or ALL of the politicians. Mwuuaahahahahaha!!!!

Just my take on things. hehehe.

...gm

[img]quoted from creaky, "I think i need a break away from this thread, you are just talking absolute and utter nonsense now. Im off to ban myself and hit myself repeatedly with blunt objects. And if im still conscious after that im going to install Windows Me."[/img]
PC build thread blank media thread Ultimate DVD Backup resource thread what did binkie7 do to me???
Member
_
22. March 2007 @ 06:34 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
that's a good one

Do you know why there's never been a Coup d'eta in the USA??

Because there's no American Embassy...



Chuck

"Men are slower to recognize blessings than misfortunes." Titus Livius (59BC-17AD)
ddp
Moderator
_
22. March 2007 @ 09:03 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
arnie, you take care of yourself!
gwen, got you beat as i've got a customer who had 1750 spyware on her computer. has the record for most spyware.
AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 09:29 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
Originally posted by greensman:
@bbmayo,
NOW that's what I'm talking about. On the other hand we could increase that rate by exterminating most or ALL of the politicians. Mwuuaahahahahaha!!!!

Just my take on things. hehehe.

...gm
Great minds think a like ;-)



My Guides--------->http://webpages.charter.net/bacitup/
Newbies------------>http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/183136
Software ------->http://webpages.charter.net/bacitup/software.htm
gerry1
Suspended permanently
_
22. March 2007 @ 09:44 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
I agree...even total anarchy would be far better organized.
Moderator

1 product review
_
22. March 2007 @ 11:09 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
afternoon.


AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 11:14 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
afternoon

1) Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

Ask your mother.
____________________________________________

2) How do you embarrass an archeologist?

Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.

____________________________________________

3) What's the difference between a b*tch and a wh*re?

A wh*re sleeps with everybody at the party; A b*tch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

____________________________________________

4) What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing, and gargling.

____________________________________________

5) What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?

A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.
____________________________________________

6) What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
of driving.
____________________________________________

7) What is the biggest problem for an atheist?

No one to talk to during orgasm.
____________________________________________

8) What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?

A mechanic .
____________________________________________

9) Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen
donuts.
____________________________________________

10) Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?

The one who can eat that last donut.

____________________________________________

11) Jewish dilemma:

Free PORK.
____________________________________________

12) The three words men hate to hear most during sex:

"Are you in?"
____________________________________________

13) The three words women hate to hear most during sex:

"Honey, I'm home!"
gerry1
Suspended permanently
_
22. March 2007 @ 11:22 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
LMAO! You've outdone yourself! I emailed them around the office.
PacMan777
AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 11:38 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
Pete
Good luck.

bbmayo,
Couldn't agree more on the reasoning for pulling out of Washington. LOL Makes one wonder where the "Right" reasoning comes from.




This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 22. March 2007 @ 11:41

AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 11:46 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
gerry1
You know you're from Pennsylvania when:

* You think the roads in any other state are smooth.

* Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the window to see what's going on outside.

* You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."

* You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.

* When it snows they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.

* You can give directions to Intercourse with a straight face.

* Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

* You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

* Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

* You measure distance in minutes.





Five Kinds====OF====SEX
1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honey- moon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face.

2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.

3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.

4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "f@@k you!"

5) The fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.

This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 22. March 2007 @ 11:50

AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 11:53 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
How bad is your temper according to your horoscope



Quote:
ARIES MARCH 21 ? APRIL 20

Nothing seems to ruffle you more than a lack of discipline, disloyalty and decorum. But Arians are also known to go into a rage very easily when challenged. Those of you who have been on the receiving end of the Aries temper know that if not calmed down they can even get violent. But one thing is certain if the opponent remains calm and does not react to their outburst, Arians cool down very fast. They are also the first to apologize, which makes them easier to forgive.

TAURUS APRIL 21 ? MAY 20

You are generally quiet and have control over your emotions. It is difficult to predict what will upset you, so when you do lose your cool, people don?t know how to react. Your temper is like that of a raging bull, and anyone trying to pacify you will be the first one to get a verbal bashing. You generally get upset when you are concerned or when people accuse you of doing something wrong. You also hate being reminded about mistakes you?ve made in the past. You also have the potential to be terribly vindictive if rubbed the wrong way.

GEMINI MAY 21 ? June 29

You are recognized by your cheerful disposition and your jovial nature is easily susceptible to anger. In fact, you are the best person to have around when there is an ugly scene at a party you can bring the warring factions together quite diplomatically. But when you lose cool, you yell and scream and will not listen to reason. You must have the last word in a wordy duel. Your capacity to argue aggressively is matched only by your seductive charm.

CANCER JUNE 21 ? JULY 21

Considering how charming, caring and kind you are, you dislike unpleasant scenes, much less creating one yourself. You have great tolerance and rarely get provoked into losing your temper. If someone is unreasonable or trying to create trouble, you are more likely to walk away quietly. But that does not mean you do not have a temper. When angry, in your effort to control your emotions, you tremble, your hands get sweaty and sometimes you fumble for words. Tears roll down your eyes easily and the opponent is touched by your innocence and will seek an apology immediately.

LEO JULY 22 ? AUGUST 21

If anyone has total control over their emotions, it is you. But then, you can be described as stiff, cold and uncaring. You are known to lack spontaneity but you really don?t care about opinions. You don?t like to create scenes and will never accept invitations to a party where you suspect the presence of an unruly lot. But your very presence seems challenging to some and they take vicarious pleasure in your disquiet. When angry you can use critical language. A dressing down can humiliate your opponent, causing a strain between both of you forever.

VIRGO AUGUST 22 ? SEPTEMBER 21

Most of you are gentle and have full control over your emotions but those of you given to temper tantrums can certainly get violent. When see things with rage, you yell and shout and tend to break things lying close at hand. You can even harm yourself by banging your hands on a glass top table or wall. You should never get into any argument, for you are a sore loser. You feel that others are trying to persecute you and don?t quite respect your opinions. When hurt, you can also hold grudges forever.

LIBRA SEPTEMBER 22 ? OCTOBER 22

Did someone say that you are the charmers of the zodiac? Well, it?s true. Few have ever seen you ruffled or angry. You are very conscious of your image, and you believe that anger distorts your face and personality. You also think you are above things like anger. But wait before you get into self-congratulatory mood. Your family or those very close to you know you better. You have an unmatched temper amongst all the zodiac signs, and what makes it worse is your capacity to justify it.

SCORPIO OCTOBER 23 ? NOVEMBER 21

Of course you don?t lose your cool. But your very demeanor (manner) projects haughtiness (arrogance, pride), pride and grand disdain (disregard) for lesser mortals (human). Others are often found saying that anger sits on your nose and you are raring to give your piece mind to the first person who try to be funny with you. You are selective in the choice of your friends, and have a low tolerance for the superfluous (extra) types. Your tongue-lashing (attack) is generally in a soft hissing tone for when you scream, your voice tends to get shrill and loud and you do hate drawing attention to yourself! When upset, you are angrier with yourself for having shown weakness, for the last thing that Scorpio wants to show is being out of control.

SAGITTARIUS NOVEMBER 22 ? DECEMBER 20

You are insensible and generally have no complete control over your emotions. You do get angry quickly and others marvel at your anger levels even when provoked. Actually, you get tongue-tied when angry and you will remove your anger waiting for the other person to calm down. Then you will reason with your opponent and convince the other person in a very gentle manner that the whole thing was just his mistake. You?re also likely to totally sever ties with someone when you?re upset with them.

CAPRICORN DECEMBER 21 ? JANUARY 19

Few will believe that a hardcore practical and materialistic person like you is capable of sensitivity and genuine emotions. You project a hard exterior but are actually very sensitive, a trait you successfully hide from others. You can see thing with anger but will not betray your feelings. But then, there are times that even you cannot control your temper. Under such circumstances you can shout and scream, more with frustration at the situation than with anger at any particular person. Your outbursts can shock others and can make them feel guilty too.

AQUARIUS JANUARY 20 ? FEBRUARY 18

You are noble and kind and dislike losing control over your emotions. It is very rare for you to get angry. You are also the pacifier in situations that involve arguments. It is always your endeavor to be perfect and socially correct in your behavior and attitude, but if misunderstood and slighted you can give in to an angry outburst. You will shout and scream and then walk out from the scene. You cannot easily forget the situation and will be bitter about it for a long time.



PISCES FEBRUARY 19 ? MARCH 20

The only thing that can be said about you dreamers is that you appear even more attractive when angry. You are very sensitive to others? feelings, so you rarely hurt them. But when others tend to hurt you, then things take a nasty turn. You will yell and use harsh words and feel inclined to shake everything and everyone up. Your creative imagination is at its best when angry, and you tend to get pretty dramatic. When upset, you refuse to listen to reason and wish to be left alone. But once you calm down, you repent your tantrums and seek forgiveness. SO nobody can be upset with you for too long.

AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 11:55 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
Pete, good luck buddy. My brother in law's on his second by pass and still going strong. Glad hearing from ya.


Moderator

1 product review
_
22. March 2007 @ 12:09 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
Quote:
CANCER JUNE 21 ? JULY 21

Considering how charming, caring and kind you are, you dislike unpleasant scenes, much less creating one yourself. You have great tolerance and rarely get provoked into losing your temper. If someone is unreasonable or trying to create trouble, you are more likely to walk away quietly. But that does not mean you do not have a temper. When angry, in your effort to control your emotions, you tremble, your hands get sweaty and sometimes you fumble for words. Tears roll down your eyes easily and the opponent is touched by your innocence and will seek an apology immediately.
Spot on, but leave out the tears....never had that happen.


AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 13:58 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
good evening a little ufo for ye


France opens up its UFO files

* 20:57 22 March 2007
* NewScientist.com news service
* New Scientist Space and AFP

France became the first country to open its files on UFOs on Thursday when the national space agency unveiled a website documenting more than 1600 sightings spanning five decades.

The online archives, which will be updated as new cases are reported, catalogues in minute detail cases ranging from the easily dismissed to a handful that continue to perplex even hard-nosed scientists.

"It is a world first," says Jacques Patenet, the aeronautical engineer who heads the office for the study of "non-identified aerospatial phenomena."

Known as OVNIs in French, UFOs have always generated intense interest along with countless conspiracy theories about secretive government cover-ups of findings deemed too sensitive or alarming for public consumption.

"Cases such as the lady who reported seeing an object that looked like a flying roll of toilet paper" are clearly not worth investigating, says Patenet.

But many others involving multiple sightings ? in at least one case involving thousands of people across France ? and evidence such as burn marks and radar trackings showing flight patterns or accelerations that defy the laws of physics are taken very seriously.
No explanation

A phalanx of beefy security guards formed a barrier in front of the space agency (CNES) headquarters where the announcement was made, "to screen out uninvited UFOlogists," an official explained.

Of the 1600 cases registered since 1954, nearly 25% are classified as "type D", meaning that "despite good or very good data and credible witnesses, we are confronted with something we can't explain", Patenet says.

On 8 January 1981 outside the town of Trans-en-Provence in southern France, for example, a man working in a field reported hearing a strange whistling sound and seeing a saucer-like object about 2.5 metres in diameter land in his field about 50 metres away.

A dull-zinc grey, the saucer took off almost immediately, leaving burn marks, he told police. Investigators took photos, and then collected and analysed samples, and to this day no satisfactory explanation has been made.
Flashing lights

The nearly 1000 witnesses who said they saw flashing lights in the sky on 5 November 1990, by contrast, had simply seen a rocket fragment falling back into Earth's atmosphere.

"We do not have the least proof that extra-terrestrials are behind the unexplained phenomena," says Patenet, adding: "Nor do we have the least proof that they aren't."

The CNES fields between 50 and 100 UFO reports ever year, usually written up by police. Of these, 10% are the object of on-site investigations, Patenet says.

Other countries, notably Britain and the US, collect data more or less systematically about unidentified flying objects. In the US, information can be requested on a case-by-case basis under the Freedom of Information Act.

"But we decided to do it the other way around and made everything available to the public," Patenet says.

The aim was to make it easier for scientists and other UFO buffs to access the data for research. The website itself ? which crashed host servers hours after it was unveiled due to heavy traffic ? is extremely well organised and complete, even including scanned copies of police reports.
http://space.newscientist.com/article/dn...-ufo-files.html
AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 15:01 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
Are You a Right-Brain Thinker?

GO HERE TO TAKE THE TEST

http://www.chatterbean.com/right_brain_t...ly.com&fb=brain

EXAMPLE TEST QUESTIONS

Are you a right-brain thinker? Our quiz will show you how to get creative with your career.


1) Which of the following most closely describes your strengths? Solving math problems, computer tasks
Outdoor and athletic activities
Conceptualizing and creating
2) In your spare time, you can be found: Volunteering, helping people
Reading, writing, or drawing
Working on your car, your computer, or a home improvement project
3) In what type of work environment are you most productive? Outdoors
An open office, surrounded by coworkers
A quiet, private office
At home, on my own schedule
4) The left-brain thinker wants to complete home improvement projects, and the right-brain thinker would rather paint the rooms fun colors. If you wanted to do either of these in your home, you'd: Go for it: You own
Ask permission: You rent
5) You're on your way to work on a Monday morning. How do you feel? I am dreading it
I can't wait until Friday
I am looking forward to making things happen
I can't wait to get there
6) What was your favorite subject in high school? Calculus
Computer Lab
Literature
Art/Speech/Theater
AfterDawn Addict
_
22. March 2007 @ 18:06 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
GOOD NIGHT,AND I LEAVE THIS FOR YE TO READ........



SIXTY LITTLE-KNOWN HUMOROUS FACTS:




If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat up one cup of coffee.

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30 feet.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like this, too.)

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight and pull 30 times its own weight.

Polar bears are left handed.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of six football fields.

A cockroach will live 9 days without its head before it starves to death.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.

Pearls melt in vinegar. (and wine)

It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

The 3 most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.

Ten percent of the Russian government's income comes from the sale of vodka.

The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog," uses every letter in the alphabet. (Developed by Western Union to Test telex/two communications)

Average life span of a major league baseball: 7 pitches.

The reason firehouses have circular stairways is from the days of yore when the engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and figured out how to walk up straight staircases.

The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie." (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.)

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history. Spades - King David; Clubs - Alexander the Great; Hearts - Charlemagne; and Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of their unwanted people without killing them used to burn their houses down-hence the expression "to get fired."

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt. (Actually, I'd heard that it was because of the sound the machine makes everytime it shoots out a block of kisses; it's a smacking sound like an exaggerated kiss.)

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

The highest point in Pennsylvania is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

The only two days of the year in which there are no professional sports games (MLB, NBA, NHL, or NFL) are the day before and the day after the Major League All-Star Game.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

The mask used by Michael Myers in the original "Halloween" was actually a Captain Kirk mask painted white.

If you put a raisin in a glass of champagne, it will keep floating to the top and sinking to the bottom.

Snails can sleep for 3 years without eating.

Actor Tommy Lee Jones and vice-president Al Gore were freshman roommates at Harvard.

The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.

Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th."

The man who plays Lt. Commander Montgomery Scott on Star Trek is missing the entire middle finger of his right hand.

The Eisenhower interstate system requires that one mile in every five must be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times of war or other emergencies.

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.

The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929. "7 " was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP " indicated the direction of the bubbles.

Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.

American car horns beep in the tone of F. (Then why do some sound high and others low?)

No piece of paper can be folded more than 7 times. (Wrong. I just did it by taping five sheets of tissue paper together and folding them eight times. I think what they're talking about is that you can't get a sharp crease... which I couldn't.)

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are 50 years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache

A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA"

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

The 57 on the Heinz ketchup bottle represents the number of varieties of pickles the company once had.

The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined. (This could be fixed... what if Nike doesn't have a factory in Malaysia?)

Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.

All US Presidents have worn glasses. Some just didn't like being seen wearing them in public.

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.

Richard Milhouse Nixon was the first US president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal" The second? William Jefferson Clinton. (It would be fun to see what other words can be found in other president's names: obscenities, different names, expressions for the devil? This really isn't fair because most people have enough letters in their three names to make out something negative.)



ONE-LINERS!!!

The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in school was my blood alcohol content.

Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

I don't do drugs anymore 'cause I find I get the same effect just standing up fast.

I have my own little world. But it's OK...they know me here.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at the bowling alley.

I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"



Profundities:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they use to.

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."





...It's great to be a man? Because:

Your last name stays put.

You never have to use hot wax.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't couldn't care less if someone notices your new haircut.

You can open all your own jars.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this ones just too icky.

Same work...more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: "He must be mad at me."

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring little gift. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can do your nails with a pocketknife.

This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 22. March 2007 @ 18:06

Senior Member
_
22. March 2007 @ 21:56 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
@pete
Hang in there...


AfterDawn Addict
_
23. March 2007 @ 05:12 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
GOOD MORNING HERES A DOWNLOAD FOR YE




Tribler 3.6.0: 4th gen file sharing

p2pnet.net news:- "Dutch researchers have developed a network for a new generation of p2p file sharing through which, they say, faster down- and uploading and live video streaming will become a reality," p2pnet posted last year.

"Instead of the lone hacker, for the first time, it was written by a team of more than a dozen scientists," Johan Pouwelse, one of the group, said.

Now, a little more than a year later, "Define 4th generation file sharing system with social networking, recommendation, tag-based navigation, moderation, and real-time streaming," says the Sourceforge project description. "Remove .torrent, tracker, and website from architecture. Create reference implement. with Bittorrent ABC project."

Done. And Tribler 3.6.0 is a, ""This is a new type of Bittorrent client," Pouwelse tells p2pnet, going on:

"Just sit back and relax while Tribler scans The Internet and automatically finds .torrent files.

"No need to visit thevarious .torrent websites."

Click here for a download.
http://sourceforge.net/project/showfiles...lease_id=495616


Definitely stay tuned.

(Cheers, Johan)

Slashdot Slashdot it!

Also See:
p2pnet - Tribler: New Dutch p2p network, February 21,, 2006

http://p2pnet.net/story/11746
AfterDawn Addict
_
23. March 2007 @ 05:57 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
This one may get deleted but it was to funny not to post ;-)

Subject: A Business Proposition

George wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office, but she was dating someone else. So, one day George got so worked up and frustrated that he went to her and said, "I'll give you a $100 if you let me have sex with you."

The girl looked at him, then said, "NO."

George said, "But I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you've picked it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would need to consult with her boyfriend. So she called him and explained her situation.

The boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money really fast. He won't even have time to be able to get his pants down."

She agreed her boyfriend and accepted George's proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still patiently waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes, he couldn't wait any longer and calls her to ask, "What happened?"

Still breathing hard, the girlfriend managed to reply, "The b-st-rd had all quarters!"

Management lesson: Always consider a business proposition in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.



My Guides--------->http://webpages.charter.net/bacitup/
Newbies------------>http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/183136
Software ------->http://webpages.charter.net/bacitup/software.htm
gerry1
Suspended permanently
_
23. March 2007 @ 08:22 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
@Ireland...got a kick out your PA jokes; particularly the one about the Amish guy and Pittsburgh being "out west" which is particularly true of me coming from Rhode Island which is only marginally larger than Philadelphia ... it takes all of 45 mins to drive the length of it and 20 mins to drive it across LOL! When I first got here I had a roommate and I suggested I'd like to drive and see Pittsburgh and I was nothing short of shocked when he informed me that driving back to Rhode Island would take less time!

Edit: The Amish joke is going over really big; local humor I suppose. The cops in the building particularly liked it.

This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 23. March 2007 @ 09:15

AfterDawn Addict
_
23. March 2007 @ 11:50 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
Quote:
Shutdown Day dares you to turn off your computer this Saturday
March 23, 2007 9:11 AM PDT
Add to your del.icio.usdel.icio.us Digg this storyDigg this

What would happen if you put your computer away for a day? Montreal residents Denis Bystrov and Michael Taylor are hoping that thousands of people around the world will find out tomorrow. They founded Shutdown Day, in which participants are challenged to shut down their computers for the duration of March 24, 2007--and keep them off all day.

Think you could do it? You're not alone. As of 9:00 AM PST on March 23, nearly 55,000 people worldwide have clicked on a "yes, I can do it" button on Shutdown Day's official site.

The rules of Shutdown Day, however, are extremely open-ended. The Web site's FAQ explains that while laptops and desktops are the central focus, they encourage you to think about turning off your PDAs, cell phones, and gaming consoles as well. No mention is made of televisions, DVRs, or "smart" household appliances. It's really the thinking behind it that counts.

In order to test the ropes, several members of CNET News.com's staff, myself included, will be participating in Shutdown Day. You'll be able to read our experiences next week.
\

This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 23. March 2007 @ 14:35

Advertisement
_
__
 
_
AfterDawn Addict
_
23. March 2007 @ 14:32 _ Link to this message    Send private message to this user   
FOR GERRY1 AND ALL

Quote:
Preacher's Ass

A preacher who wanted to raise money for his church was told there was a fortune in horse racing, so he decided to buy a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going price for horses was so steep that the preacher ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured, however, that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, in the first race, his donkey came in second. The next day the paper read

PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS.

The preacher was so pleased that he entered the donkey in another race. This time, it won, and the paper read

PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The new headline read

BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop, and he ordered the preacher to get rid of the animal. The preacher, being a charitable chap, gave it to a nun in a nearby convent. The headline the next day said

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted! He told the nun that she would have to dispose of the donkey, and she finally found a farmer who would take it off her hands for ten dollars. The paper said

NUN PEDDLES ASS FOR TEN BUCKS.

They buried the Bishop the next day. The following day's paper read:

TOO MUCH ASS RESPONSIBLE FOR BISHOP'S DEATH.



Quote:
Three Nuns

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning the father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!"

"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.

"Well, of course I threw them all in the trash."

The second nun said, "Well, I can top that. I was in the father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms."

"Oh my," gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked.

"I poked holes in all of them," she replied.

The third nun said, "Oh shit."


Quote:
Pastor Fuzz

The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman.

"Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"

"Shure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.

When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor.

After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.

The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here, buddy, we won't have any of that carrying on in this bar."

The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz."

The bartender nodded, "Well, heck, if you're that far along you might as well finish the job."


Quote:
The Queen and the Pope

The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd. Her Majesty and His Holiness, however, have seen it all before, so to make it a little more interesting, the Queen says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the royal gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every English person in the crowd. Gradually, the cheering subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by someone wearing a worse frock and hat than he, considered what he could do." Your Majesty, that was most impressive," the Pontiff acknowledges, "but did you know with one wave of MY hand I can make every IRISH person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."

The Queen seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all Irish people will rejoice forever? Show me!"

So the Pope slapped her upside the head.


Quote:
Jesus and the Burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place into his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, he promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, then clicked the flashlight back on and began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so that he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Totally rattled, he shone his flashlight around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that"? He hissed at the parrot.

"Yes," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are anyway?"

"Moses,"replied the parrot.

"Moses," the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot quickly answered, "The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler, Jesus."

This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 23. March 2007 @ 14:35

This thread is closed and therefore you are not allowed reply to this thread.
 
afterdawn.com > forums > general discussion > safety valve > where did all the old timers go, a public meeting place for open discussion
 

Digital video: AfterDawn.com | AfterDawn Forums
Music: MP3Lizard.com
Gaming: Blasteroids.com | Blasteroids Forums | Compare game prices
Software: Software downloads
Blogs: User profile pages
RSS feeds: AfterDawn.com News | Software updates | AfterDawn Forums
International: AfterDawn in Finnish | AfterDawn in Swedish | AfterDawn in Norwegian | download.fi
Navigate: Search | Site map
About us: About AfterDawn Ltd | Advertise on our sites | Rules, Restrictions, Legal disclaimer & Privacy policy
Contact us: Send feedback | Contact our media sales team
 
  © 1999-2025 by AfterDawn Ltd.

  IDG TechNetwork