Originally posted by greensman:

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EllO Ripper!!!

It's like noon where you is, ain't it??? LOL. Good to see you on AD. Haven't seen you much lately. You been elsewhere on the forums or is school keeping you busy? At any rate nice to see you and have a great weekend. :)

...gm

and a GOOD Saturday morning to all...........

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Smart Kid

A woman takes a lover during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly so she puts the son in the closet and shuts the door.

Her husband comes home minutes later, so she puts her lover in the closet with the little boy.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, ÒHow much?"
Boy - $750."
Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth." The boy says, "I can't, I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy - $1,000."

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that! That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that sh@t again!"

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Plug In

The minister of a small congregation was about to start his sermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row, wearing a tight dress with her boobs almost hanging out.

He couldn't concentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the service and asked to speak to the woman after everyone else left the church.

When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest lecturing voice. "Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed like that?"

"Why reverend," the young thing replied, "all of my boyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they put their heads on my breasts."

"Hmm. Well let me check," said the man of the cloth, placing his head between her boobs. After several minutes, he raised his head and said. "I don't hear any angels singing!"

"Of course not reverend." she said. "You're not plugged in yet."

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Ripper's New Truck

One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Ripper driving a brand new pickup. Ripper pulled up to him with a wide grin.

"Ripper," said Jimmy Joe, "where'd you get that truck?"

"Bobbi Sue gave it to me," Ripper replied.

"She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?" said his skeptical friend.

"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobbi Sue pulled off the road, put the truck into 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Ripper, take whatever you want.' So, I took the truck!"

"Ripper, you are one smart man!" said Jimmy Joe. "Them clothes woulda never fit you."

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Originally posted by ChrisC586:

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Good Morning All Ireland and Ripper ya got my day off to a good start first time in a long time LMAO. Chris

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How bad is your temper according to your horoscope

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SCORPIO OCTOBER 23 ? NOVEMBER 21
Of course you don?t lose your cool. But your very demeanor (manner) projects haughtiness (arrogance, pride), pride and grand disdain (disregard) for lesser mortals (human). Others are often found saying that anger sits on your nose and you are raring to give your piece mind to the first person who try to be funny with you. You are selective in the choice of your friends, and have a low tolerance for the superfluous (extra) types. Your tongue-lashing (attack) is generally in a soft hissing tone for when you scream, your voice tends to get shrill and loud and you do hate drawing attention to yourself! When upset, you are angrier with yourself for having shown weakness, for the last thing that Scorpio wants to show is being out of control.

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