Originally posted by Auslander:

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i leave, i return, i leave, i return, but i can never stay gone long. i just get meaner to rulebreakers each time. karma is going to bend me over and punish me one day.

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WAR



Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle.

"That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the Germans, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang'."

"But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit.

The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab'."

The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, a German soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom, "Bangety Bang Bang!" The German falls dead.

More Germans appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one German soldier walking slowly toward him.

"Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The German keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use.

The German keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, and says, "Tankety Tank Tank."

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There was a young lady of Norway
Who hung by her toes in a doorway.
She said to her beau,
"Just look at me Joe,
I think I've discovered one more way."

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I once met a lassie named Ruth
In a long distance telephone booth.
Now I know the perfection
Of an ideal connection,
Even if somewhat uncouth.

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There once was a couple named Kelley
Who lived their life belly to belly.
Because in their haste,
They used Library Paste,
Instead of Petroleum Jelly

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A pretty young maiden from France
Decided she'd "just take a chance".
She let herself go
For an hour or so,
And now all her sisters are aunts.

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There was a young lady named Hall,
Wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire,
And burned her entire
Front page, sports section, and all.

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Major labels to disband RIAA

p2pnet.net news:- The members of the Big 4 Organized Music cartel have announced the cessation of the sue 'em all marketing campaign under which they've been trying to persuade consumers to buy corporate download product.

"We have issued instructions to the RIAA and to our other enforcement organizations around the world to immediately withdraw all lawsuits and to refund court costs and other expenses incurred by people sued," says Phil McBoot, chairman of the Big 4 Working Group, in a statement, going on:

"We have also terminated Mitch Bainwol, Carry Sherman, Jonathan Lamy and Jenny Engebretsen.

"We were acting on their advice, which we now realise was wrong. We humbly and sincerely apologise to anyone who may have inadvertently been harmed by the actions of the RIAA, BPI, IFPI and similar bodies."

McBoot says the Big 4 will be disbanding all existing trade organizations and founding a single new organisation to be called Friends of the Labels which will work with p2p developers and independent artists to formulate 'fair use' practices and policies, and creative pricing and distribution structures.

'We meant no harm'

"We honestly didn't mean anyone any harm," says former RIAA boss Mitch Bainwol in a separate statement issued today.

"We were only following instructions from Warner Music, EMI, Vivendi Universal and Sony BMG. They said they and their employees have been suffering terrible financial and personal hardships because of all the p2p file sharing that's been going on, and we believed them."

Says ex-RIAA (Recording Industry Association of America) second-in-command Cary Sherman, "We have been trying to educate people into adopting the correct procedure for acquiring music online, acting on instructions from our employers."

Bainwol and Sherman are moving to the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) as special advisers to MPAA chairman Dan Glickman.

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