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Day 4 Without a cigarette!
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gerry1
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28. November 2006 @ 16:01 |
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Thanks buddy...much appreciated. No matter what I do though, I'm sure she'd rather kiss the dog LOL!
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mackdl
Senior Member
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14. December 2006 @ 06:12 |
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gerry1
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12. March 2007 @ 06:52 |
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Well, I've been nearly ten months without a cigarette and today I blew it. (I must admit, it tasted really good after so long!). Our new boss hit me at my most vulnerable point and, despite my promises to myself, the first thing I did was buy a pack of cigarettes. In 1982, when I was 27, I fell and broke my neck and severely injured my lower back. I had spinal cord surgery five times and I was paralyzed on the left side for three years but I was lucky because, after three years of therapy, I was able to walk again and use my left side again although my left side will always be very weak. I was luckier than most in the same position because I was young and in very good shape back then but it left me with no range of motion in the lower back and the neck because all the discs have been fused with bone from my hips and there is a lot of nerve damage which is very painful and I've been on narcotics 24/7 since. This new boss, who does nothing but sit on his fat a$$ all day and never pitches in wants me to do things I'm not capable of doing and he knows I can't, yet he's insisting anyway. Now I'm going to have to go through all this crap to get a note saying I can't do certain things...a hell of a way to be treated after sixteen years with this organization. But do I dare? The bush administration had cut the budget for people collecting unemployment by some 60% since coming to office and we've laid off an equal amount of out staff. I fear that if I do this, I'm putting myself in the position of being next in the next round of Mr. Bush's cuts in the next budget which is sure to happen as he's done it for six years in a row...I don't know how they can do it since they laid off everyone else already and I'm now a department one but still, I'm sure he can think of a way come the next go round. I will be in far more pain than I already am if I do what he wants, yet, I could well be his target if I don't. I'm really pissed off that, after sixteen years, someone would put me in this position. Lord, I'm bummed out. Please forgive my rant but needed to get it out!
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Auslander
AfterDawn Addict
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12. March 2007 @ 07:35 |
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it's a bastard nation, with the hard-workin' average joe getting regularly screwed by our bass-ackwards government. capitalism gone too far,in my opinion. but now i border on what we can't talk about.
good luck, ger. if there's anyway we can help, do tell.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 12. March 2007 @ 07:36
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gerry1
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12. March 2007 @ 08:16 |
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Thanks Aus but after sixteen years, I actually know his bosses better than he does and was about to go over his head and leave tire tracks across his back when he relented. With me, I think it was more bruised ego than anything else. I thought I'd gotten over the emotional part of having certain disabilities long ago but every once in a while a circumstance or uncaring person will come along and make you feel like you're totally useless or remind you in no uncertain terms of what you can't do anymore. I was only 27 or so when this happened to me and, though you think you're over it, every now and again, something comes along and rekindles the old anger and resentment not only over the way I was injured in my youth but also how I was treated by my insurance company and social security when it happened. Unfortunately, we only have insurance coverage in this country as long as your well ... should you get in an accident prohibiting you from working, you no longer have the health coverage to pay for heath care so I banrupted my family with healthcare costs. TO add insult to injury, I remember laying paralyzed in a hospital bed when my mom had to open a letter from disability saying there was nothing wrong with me ... this coming from doctors who never examined me. I had to get lawyers and sue the government. I sat in a court room in a wheelchir and a "halo" screwed directly into my skull and a government lawyer said, and I'll never forget this as long as I live In his current condition, he could always work in an amusement park and collect tickets with his right hand. (The left side was still completely paralyzed).Then I was denied the VA benefits I was promised because Ronald Reagan had changed the laws to save money. I know we're not supposed to discuss politics but this is stuff that happened to me and is not mindless complaining, I was a taxpaying American citizen treated that way and I won't have anyone defending such practices at the hands of government. Sometimes, something will come along which really opens old wounds. I'll keep smoking until I go to bed tonite and then, after having licked my wounds, I'm sure I'll be tobacco free again tomorrow. But to anyone who would comment on my anger, I can only say "walk a mile in my shoes".
Edit: I won the suit and it wasn't in court for five mins when the judge said he was tired of having the govt waste his time. They were order to pay two years back disability but the lawyers took every damned cent.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 12. March 2007 @ 08:35
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Auslander
AfterDawn Addict
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12. March 2007 @ 08:24 |
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society forgets so quickly the pains its keepers bear.
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AfterDawn Addict
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12. March 2007 @ 09:25 |
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What a country Gerry? And people still want to come here. Socialized medicine will be here shortly and my generation, the baby boomers is going to bankrupt medicare and social security. We're all 4 years from 65. Hang in there buddy. I can only guess how GOOD that pack is/was. I still crave the b*st*rds after 6 years.
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Auslander
AfterDawn Addict
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12. March 2007 @ 10:28 |
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hell, social security would have been fine if every single looney with a pen in government hadn't been making withdrawals from it like some kind of anonymous slush fund for several decades. they don't know the true value of a dollar to an individual when they have billions at their disposal and receive no comeuppance for just....incredibly damned stupid waste. not everyone has extremely successful investment funding or family wealth to spend as they decay like most of our leaders do; people pay in for 30, 40, or more years resting assured that they'll have something to keep them floating when they get the rest they deserve, and they get totally cash-farked.
i could go on and on, but i'm sure i'd only stir up trouble and i don't want to do that. this topic is one of many that gets me riled up.
sometimes i just want to take a shovel and beat the piss out of every conservative...and liberal...in congress and white house.
*edit*
bloody hell, how about beating anyone in any legislative body in general? it works for me. they're all scum. no one with a decent social conscience will take the job, as that itself is trash. only the slime is left to fill in these gaps.
the whole US gov't needs some major infrastructure reconstruction.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 12. March 2007 @ 10:29
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gerry1
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12. March 2007 @ 10:30 |
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@garmoon...when us boomers become the largest voting block things will change radically...it will become like the immigration issue is now...politicians afraid to piss off such a large voting block. I will enjoy my cigarettes until tonite but it will have to stop there while I'm still use to not smoking (fact is, now I stink of cigarette smoke and can smell it all over myself even if it did taste great!) I don't want to go back to spending that much money (I use to smoke three packs a day). I'm better than I was this morning; Mike, the office clown, took it on himself to cheer me up which he always manages to do.
Edit: @Aus,,,I couldn't agree with you more but I guess we should get off the political subject now that I've finished my pissed off rant LOL!
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 12. March 2007 @ 10:34
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Auslander
AfterDawn Addict
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12. March 2007 @ 10:39 |
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i'll be back on IRC during my spring break (march 23-april 2) so we can discuss things further then and there, if you'd like. ^.^
also taking a moment to point that i plan on taking a vacation from AD starting on the 23rd of this month. i'm going to force myself to make it as long as i can, so it may be anywhere from a week to never before i return.
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gerry1
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12. March 2007 @ 10:46 |
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Oh, you're not really going to do that, are you? Please don't.
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Auslander
AfterDawn Addict
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12. March 2007 @ 10:50 |
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get on IRC? yeah, i was planning on it....i won't pop in if you're on, though. don't want to bother you. ^.~
OR
take a vacation from AD during spring break? yeah, i'm on my butt here working at the reactor or sitting in class or my dorm all day...i've got better things to get out and do! XD
OR
not come back to AD? i don't know. same as a lot of members say, there's a lot of stupid here. i know what forums it is concetrated in, but it consistently leaks out or i venture in to help, only to be disgusted. i keep going away and coming back. forcing myself to take a sabbatical may be the only thing that keeps me from going crazy here. hopefully i'll lose interest in this place and not feel the need to try to nip the spread of "DER der der" in the bud.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 12. March 2007 @ 10:50
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gerry1
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12. March 2007 @ 10:56 |
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@ Aus....at the risk sound like a dunce, I don't even know what IRC is though you certainly would never bother me. I meant please don't leave afterdawn for good; god, we lost too many of the old timers as it is! YOu're not only a fixture here, but a rare asset.
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aabbccdd
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12. March 2007 @ 21:28 |
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Originally posted by gerry1:
@ Aus....at the risk sound like a dunce, I don't even know what IRC is though you certainly would never bother me.
Gerry its basically the aD chat room.and man i am glad i never started smoking. never touched one in my life
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Moderator
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13. March 2007 @ 05:10 |
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AfterDawn Addict
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13. March 2007 @ 05:40 |
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last December has been 10yrs since I smoked over 2 packs a day!~ I will never go back!
@Auslander........ please don't leave AfterDawn. take a vacation but come back. You'll be missed! I know how it can feel answering the same old questions and helping out newbies and such..... but every once in a while I only answer questions that I want to answer and not take it all on! I used to answer everything I could...... now, before I burn out I take it easy and only do some. I don't get into any of the politics of the site and just put a deaf ear, cover my mouth and close my eyes! Helping the newbies is only giving back what I took from here. I for one, and I'm sure I speak for some here, will miss you! And hope you return to us soon!
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Moderator
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13. March 2007 @ 08:24 |
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I agree with everyone else Aus...just take a breather.
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Auslander
AfterDawn Addict
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13. March 2007 @ 08:26 |
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that's the plan at first.
guys, don't worry so much. you make me feel like a drama queen or something. whatever happens, happens. just roll with it. ^.^
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aabbccdd
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13. March 2007 @ 08:46 |
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Auslander , isn't going anywhere for long guys. because he wouldn't be able to keep me in line not being here lol
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gerry1
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13. March 2007 @ 09:03 |
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Well, the cigarette thing only lasted one day. It was a the worst day I'd had in a long time so I gave in. No big deal I guess. Not going back to it though .... health issues aside, I'm just too damn cheap LOL! Hard to believe I smoked three packs a day when yesterday, I smoked almost one pack and it seemed like I was smoking one after the next ... I wonder how I managed to smoke three packs? Ah well, I've got better things to do with my money than spend fifteen bucks a day on cigarettes.
@LOCO...thanks for the link to that guide; I've been meaning to check that out but never seemed to get to it.
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Moderator
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13. March 2007 @ 09:59 |
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There are a couple in there now having a chat gerry...come on in.
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Member
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13. March 2007 @ 11:45 |
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Just had my first cigarrete in over three months. And high as a kite on the smoker's high. Man.
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Auslander
AfterDawn Addict
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13. March 2007 @ 13:09 |
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i haven't had a cigar since...saturday night. i'll probably have a few this weekend.
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Senior Member
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13. March 2007 @ 17:41 |
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Originally posted by NicHt:
Just had my first cigarrete in over three months. And high as a kite on the smoker's high. Man.
hehe.. :-)
and aus wont be gone for long, he will be back, he wont be like the other addicts and get banned perm. for attention. he WILL be back.. and if he isnt, ill track him down through his school and kick him in the ass!!
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AfterDawn Addict
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13. March 2007 @ 17:53 |
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Originally posted by gerry1:
Well, the cigarette thing only lasted one day. It was a the worst day I'd had in a long time so I gave in. No big deal I guess. Not going back to it though .... health issues aside, I'm just too damn cheap LOL! Hard to believe I smoked three packs a day when yesterday, I smoked almost one pack and it seemed like I was smoking one after the next ... I wonder how I managed to smoke three packs? Ah well, I've got better things to do with my money than spend fifteen bucks a day on cigarettes.
@LOCO...thanks for the link to that guide; I've been meaning to check that out but never seemed to get to it.
Gerry, I am sorry to hear the problems you are having with work. Keep off the cigarettes.
I have not had a cigarette in 14 months, and I don't miss them. I have, since late last year, smoked cigars occasionally. But, only occasionally.
Life is good!
GrandpaBruce - Vietnam Vet - 1970 - 1971
Computer: Intel Core i7-920 Nehalim;Asus P6T Deluxe V2
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