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Sex Change Pain

A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a ball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knows just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed.

After the game they ask her "how is it that you know so much about baseball?"

She says, "Well, I used to be a guy and got a sex change."

The guys are amazed, but very curious about the process. "what was the most painful part of the process? Was it when they cut off your penis?"

"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."

"Was it when they cut off your testicles?"

"That was very painful, but was not the most painful part."

"What was the most painful part?"

"The part that hurt the most was when they cut my salary in half!"

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the first car he'd seen when everyone still used horse and buggy (everyone thought the auto was a "phase" LOL!; the roar in the sky when every got their first view of the airplane. He's got great stories about how they shared their family farm with the Indians in Quebec. The telephone, indoor plumbing, the radio ... it goes on and on. Strangely enough, the one inventioned which impressed him the most was the invention of the ball point and it amazes him to this day how they can write for so long without ever having to dip it in an ink well LOL! I love you, Dad!!!!

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An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for the little blue "Viagra" pill.

The pharmacist asked, "How many?"

The man replied, "Just a few, maybe a half dozen. I cut each one into four pieces.

The pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through intimacy."

The old fellow said, "Oh, I'm past eighty years old and I don't even think about intimacy much anymore. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my new golf shoes."

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Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

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The winner of this antivirus sweepstakes was a product called Avira, which managed to detect and defeat 71 percent of the unknown malware. Right behind it was the equally-obscure NOD32, which swept away 68 percent of the threats. The more well-known commercial products fared more poorly. Norton Antivirus and McAfee tied at a mere 24 percent, while Microsoft's OneCare did even worse by only identifying 18 percent of the new threats. Resting at the bottom of the barrel were Kaspersky and eScan at nine percent, and AVG, which detected only eight percent of malicious software in addition to producing many false positives.

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