|
|
|
jokes of the day
|
|
AfterDawn Addict
1 product review
|
20. June 2004 @ 23:37 |
Link to this message
|
|
Actually I have no idea where it came from it was emailed to me by my wife from work. But being a big Robin Williams fan I'll look for it on some media somewhere. I thought all the jokes that were being posted here were taken from someplace.
_
" Please Read!!! Post your questions only in This Thread or they will go unanswered:
Help with development of BD RB: Donations at: http://www.jdobbs.com/. This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 21. June 2004 @ 06:19
|
|
Advertisement
|
  |
|
|
|
roeod4
Member
|
21. June 2004 @ 06:13 |
Link to this message
|
|
Thanks for the story Bitcount, I liked it.
|
Member
|
21. June 2004 @ 13:50 |
Link to this message
|
|
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some more actual label instructions on consumer
goods.
On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside." (The shoplifter special.)
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how . . .?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But it's *just* a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): "Do not turn
upside down."
(Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows the day . . . )
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save some time?)
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a newsflash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts."
(Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals."
(Was there a spate of this happening somewhere?)
|
AfterDawn Addict
1 product review
|
21. June 2004 @ 14:10 |
Link to this message
|
|
kcc76
Very funny. LOL
" Please Read!!! Post your questions only in This Thread or they will go unanswered:
Help with development of BD RB: Donations at: http://www.jdobbs.com/. |
|
Buik
Member
|
30. July 2004 @ 19:57 |
Link to this message
|
|
BEWARE OF THIS SOFTWARE
Last year a friend of mine upgraded from GirlFriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog, leaving very little system resources available for other applications.
He is now noticing that Wife 1.0 is also spawning Child Processes which are further consuming valuable resources. No mention of these particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application.
Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization, where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some applications such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to run in the system at all, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked fine before.) During installation, Wife 1.0 provides no option as to the installation of undesired Plug-Ins such as Mother-In-Law 55.8 and Brother-In-Law Beta release. Also, system performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0: - - - A "Don't remind me again" button. - - - Minimize button. - - - An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without the loss of cache and other system resources.
I myself decided to avoid the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found many problems.
Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first. Other users say this is a long-standing bug that I should have known about. Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You'd think they would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well, leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system.
Another thing -- all versions of Girlfriend continually pop up little annoying messages about the advantages of upgrading to Wife 1.0.
***** BUG WARNING ********
Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.0 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before doing the uninstall itself. Then Mistress 1.1 will refuse to install, claiming insufficient resources.
***** BUG WORK-AROUNDS ***************
To avoid this bug, try installing Mistress 1.0 on a different system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.
As a co-worker of mine said, "This is a good argument for installing Monk v. 1.5."
|
Senior Member
|
31. July 2004 @ 14:55 |
Link to this message
|
|
Dear friends ive been working hard at work all day and have recieved several phone calls from my wife at work.She says she has been trying to back up a dvd all day and still can not get it to fit on the perfectly good cdrs i left her.I told her the disc could be damaged but she says she has give it a iron.Iam lost for words as i told her she needs to educate herself more on the pc.I have left her a perfectly good cdrom and a batch of good cdrs so what is she doing wrong.She recomended to me over the phone that we might be better off purchasing a good dvd writer.Ive told her that she is being stupid becuase hienstein holds nothing on me.Do you all think the same as me yet another load of dodgy cdrs.I know i have been advising her to do the right things as i have been AD all day at work passing my advise on with no complaints
John179
i9 9900K CPU,ASUS MAXIMUS XI HERO Mobo, Fractal R6 Case,
Corsair H115I ,Corsair RM Series 850W psu,
RTX 3080 Ti ,Corsair DDR4 Vengeance RGB PRO 32GB 1TB Intel SSD 660p Series,1TB M.2 ,36TB Seagate HD,19TB Ext, LG BH16NS40 BD-RW,Creative Sound Blaster Zx 116dB Sound Card, Acer Predator XB321HK 32inch 4K Monitor, 2TB PS4
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 31. July 2004 @ 15:12
|
|
agent-k
Senior Member
|
6. August 2004 @ 09:46 |
Link to this message
|
|
Roses are red,
violets are blue,
I'm schizophrenic,
and so am I...!
Athlon XP2500+Barton OCd to XP3200+ running at 2.2Ghz
Cooled by Thermaltake Extreme Volcano 12
Asus A7N8X-E DeLuxe
2Gig PC3200 400DDR Dual Channel Ram
160Gb Seagate Barracuda |
|
Advertisement
|
|
|
Senior Member
|
6. August 2004 @ 10:07 |
Link to this message
|
|
Good effort my friend you have a good sense of humour but please roses are red violets are blue
Please stop reading those valentines cards i know its a first but you never know you may get one again next year.
John179
i9 9900K CPU,ASUS MAXIMUS XI HERO Mobo, Fractal R6 Case,
Corsair H115I ,Corsair RM Series 850W psu,
RTX 3080 Ti ,Corsair DDR4 Vengeance RGB PRO 32GB 1TB Intel SSD 660p Series,1TB M.2 ,36TB Seagate HD,19TB Ext, LG BH16NS40 BD-RW,Creative Sound Blaster Zx 116dB Sound Card, Acer Predator XB321HK 32inch 4K Monitor, 2TB PS4
|
|
