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aabbccdd I think that I would take Adriana for a walk instead.

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14 things I hate about everybody

* People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is PAL, where the f**k is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?


* People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.


* When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". F**king right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?


* When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the f**k would you keep looking after you've found it? Do People do this? Who and where are they?


* When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the f**king floor.


* People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?


* When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.


* When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?


* When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here,Kn*bhead?


* People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?


* When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.


* People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.


* McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you f*cking McTosser.

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* When people say "life is short". What the f*ck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f*cking does!! What can you do that's longer?

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A collection of insults!

Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.

I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?

Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.

People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright.

Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

The mind reader had a very busy day today reading minds. You were a vacation for him.

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening.

I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.

I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.

I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.

I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma; your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.

Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.

You spent so much time trying to get rid of that halitosis that you had only to find out that you are not popular anyway.

You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.

We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.

I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.

There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.

All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.

I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.

Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being.

You have nothing to fear from my base instincts; its my finer ones that tell me to kill you.

It's your life -- but I wish you'd let us have it.

Hey, act your age -- senile!

I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.

You're the best at all you do -- and all you do is make people hate you.

In the dictionary under the word, "stupid," it says, "see him."

We know you could not live without us. We'll pay for the funeral.

We do not complain about your shortcomings, but about your long sayings.

Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?

The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.

When you get run over by a car, it shouldn't be listed under accidents.

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The Ballad of the Bobbit Hillbillies
The Ballad of the Bobbit Hillbillies
(sung to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies)

Here's a little story of a man named John
A poor ex-marine (with a little fraction gone)
It seems one night after gettin' with the wife
She lopped off his schlong with a swipe of a knife
(penis, that is)
(rodeoed, fillet-iced)

Well, the next thing you know, there's a Ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And tossed him out the window as she rounded the bend
(curve, that is)
(pricker shrubs, wheel hubs)

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back
They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "over there"
To John Wayne's Henry that was wavin' in the air
(found, that is)
(by a fence, evidence)

Now Peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
So a dick-doc said, "Hey, I can fix your dong,"
"A needle and a thread is just the thing you're gonna need"
Then the whole world held its breath
'til they heard that he had peed
(whizzed, that is)
(stiched seam, straight stream)

Well he healed and he hardened, and he took his case to court
With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short)
They cleared her of assault, and acquitted him of rape
And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape
(video, that is)
(unexposed, case closed)

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And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape
(video, that is)
(unexposed, case closed)

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PICTURE: Maybe they should have blurred something out? [LAPTOP]

Yes this is an ebay auction listing I found. No, it is not mine. Yes, I did laugh when I found the pictures of the WinXP CD and Auth. Certificate just clearly showing the CD key..... I guess this pawn shop doesn't have people dropping off laptops w/software very often. Oh well, it gave me a chuckle.

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