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Best Movie Lines
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squizzle
AfterDawn Addict
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17. March 2005 @ 20:50 |
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yeah, Bill Gates gettin shot was probably the best scene in that movie.
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Senior Member
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17. March 2005 @ 21:49 |
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"they're all gonna laugh at you!!"
-Carrie-
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Senior Member
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18. March 2005 @ 15:00 |
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Napoleon Dynamite:
Napoleon- "Pedro offers you his protection"
Napoleon- "You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff"
Napoleon- "I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to"
Pedro- "Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true"
Kip- "LaFawnduh is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.Don't worry Napoleon, there's a babe out there for you somewhere. Peace out"
Napoleon- "I like your sleeves. They're real big."
Napoleon- "Sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys."
And my two favorites:
Don- "Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?"
Napoleon- "I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!"
Don- "Did you shoot any?"
Napoleon- "Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that?"
Don- "What kind of gun did you use?"
Napoleon- "A freakin' 12-gauge, what do you think?"
and
Deb- "What are you drawing?"
Napoleon- "A liger."
Deb- "What's a liger?"
Napoleon- "It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic."
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 18. March 2005 @ 15:53
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Senior Member
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18. March 2005 @ 16:17 |
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Peter [boy]: How come the dinasaurs died out?
Museum Host: Because you touch yourself at night!
Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Sea World.
Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running?
Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.
Lois: You're drunk again.
Peter: No, I'm just exhausted 'cause I've been up all night drinking.
Lois: Oh, my God! You can only play the piano when you're drunk!
Peter: Now that's not true! I can also vomit, fall down and make dirty calls to your sister when I'm drunk!
Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker!
Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry!
Ron Burgundy: Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island!
Veronica Corningstone: Well you... have bad hair!
Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do.
Steve Stifler: [about having sex with Candice] I'm gonna be like, "You like this shit Momma?" And then she'll be like, "Fu*kin' right doggie. Suck on my nipples like, like you're milkin' a cow."
Taj: I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant.
Van Wilder: Okay, we're just going do a little word association. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk.
Taj: Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.
Pnub: As usual, marijuana saves an otherwise disastrous day
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 18. March 2005 @ 17:27
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squizzle
AfterDawn Addict
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19. March 2005 @ 07:35 |
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Peter: If you don't put the Gumbles back on the air I'm going on a hunger strike. You gonna eat that stapler?
TV guy: You can't eat a stapler.
Peter: Wanna split it?
and
Peter: Why don't you make like siamese twins and split...and then one of you die.
Convert PAL to NTSC or NTSC to PAL------>http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/167922
ScubaPete's guides------>http://www.dvdplusvideo.com/tutorial007.html
Bbmayo's guides------>http://home.comcast.net/~bbmayo/index.html
My ever-growing movie collection------>http://www.intervocative.com/dvdcollection.aspx/squizzle
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Senior Member
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19. March 2005 @ 09:28 |
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squizzle & phillipman, not movie lines, but great lines non the less.
here are some more Napoleon Dynamite Quotes:
Kid on Bus: What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon: Whatever I feel like I wanna do, gosh!
Napoleon: Stay home and eat all the freakin' chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter.
Pedro: Do you think people will vote for me?
Napoleon: heck yes! I'd vote for you.
Pedro: Like what are my skills?
Napoleon: Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.
Napoleon: What kind of bike do you have?
Pedro: It's a sledgehammer.
Napoleon: Dang! You got shocks, pegs... lucky! You ever take it off any sweet jumps?
Teacher: Your current event, Napoleon.
Napoleon: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 19. March 2005 @ 09:28
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AfterDawn Addict
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19. March 2005 @ 10:11 |
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I loved that "cage fighter" scene. Both those wierdos slapping each other silly,LMAO bigtime.
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!! |
Senior Member
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19. March 2005 @ 11:10 |
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Lois: Are you gonna miss me?
Peter: Only until I go to the newsstand and buy a Hustler.
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keras
Member
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19. March 2005 @ 16:59 |
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"The Big Lebowski"
Jesus: Let me tell you something pendejo, you pull any of your crazy sh!t with us, you flash your piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you and stick it up your a$$ and pull the fu%%ing trigger 'till it goes click.
Dude: Jesus.
Jesus: You said it man. Nobody f%%ks with the Jesus.
One of the greatest lines ever
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squizzle
AfterDawn Addict
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20. March 2005 @ 03:48 |
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the Big Lebowski...what a great movie. Here's more Family Guy.
Peter: The neighbors invited us over for dinner tonight.
Lois: Great, then I don't have to cook.
Peter: No, cook it anyway and we'll throw it out. I don't want you to get rusty.
and
Lois: I'm thinking about getting a part-time job. I need some excitement in my life.
Peter: What are you talking about? You're life's plenty exciting. For instance...<Takes out a torch and lights curtains on fire and walks away>
Convert PAL to NTSC or NTSC to PAL------>http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/167922
ScubaPete's guides------>http://www.dvdplusvideo.com/tutorial007.html
Bbmayo's guides------>http://home.comcast.net/~bbmayo/index.html
My ever-growing movie collection------>http://www.intervocative.com/dvdcollection.aspx/squizzle
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Senior Member
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20. March 2005 @ 19:05 |
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family guy
Peter: Look at this, Lois, see right here [points in book], I was voted most likely to succeed!
Lois: Peter, that's not you. That's not even a yearbook, it's a People magazine.
Peter: Oh, I wondered why they had the wrong picture and name.
Glen Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.
Quagmire: Hey there Gorgeous, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18?
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I Like where this is goin'!
Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Tom Tucker: Stay tuned for our special investigative report on the clitoris, "Nature's Rubik's Cube".
Tom Tucker: Well, I believe I speak for everyone when I say all the New Yorkers can go fornicate themselves with a steel rod
Lois: What's going on down here?
Stewie: Oh, we're playing house.
Lois: That boy's all tied up.
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house
Saving Silverman
Coach Norton: Remember, boys! STAY AWAY from women! All they want from you is your man-juice! If you ever get the kind of urges that cannot be supressed by hard liquor, the use this!
[showing them his right hand]
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 20. March 2005 @ 19:13
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Senior Member
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21. March 2005 @ 11:10 |
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Harold and Kumar
Burger Shack Employee: Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there's one thing I've learned, it's that if you're craving White Castle, the burgers here just don't cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one... just makes me want to burn this motherfu*ker down. Come on, Pookie, let's burn this motherfu*ker down! Come on, Pookie! Let's burn it, Pookie! Let's burn this motherfu*ker down! Let's burn it down! Let's burn it! So you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle.
Kumar: You can always get your work done in the car.
Harold: Let's do it.
Kumar: All right. Awesome. Then listen, listen - no matter what, we are not ending this night without White Castle in our stomachs. Agreed?
Harold: Agreed.
[shakes Kumar's hand then gives him pound]
Burger Shack Employee: Wise choice. You guys might have wanted to stay away from our special sauce tonight. Me and Pookie, we added a secret ingredient. I'll give you a hint. It's semen.
[bursts out laughing]
Harold: [Smirks] Semen.
Burger Shack Employee: Animal semen.
[Harold and Kumar scream and drive off as fast as possible]
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 21. March 2005 @ 11:11
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Senior Member
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21. March 2005 @ 17:11 |
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From Hackers
Acid Burn: "What's the score?"
(clicks scoreboard)
Phreak: "Tie"
(all our shouting)
Phreak: "What, what...come on, due to Mr. Gills untimely demise and all, guess you two will have to improvise the next round.
Crash Override: "Right...I win...you wear a dress on our date."
(everyone laughs)
Acid Burn: "And if I win...so do you."
(Ponders for a moment)
Crash Override: "Deal."
"From now on we are poison to you Spider-man...Thats why we call ourselves... VENOM"
 This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 21. March 2005 @ 17:13
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Senior Member
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21. March 2005 @ 17:57 |
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mallrats
Jay: What you need is a fatty-boom-batty blunt, and I guarantee you'll be seeing a sailboat, an ocean, and maybe even some of those big-titted mermaids doing that lesbian shit.
Brodie: You fuckers think just because a guy reads comics he can't start some shit?
Family Guy
Chris: When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles my brain. Hah hah hah ... ow. Oh, now I don't know math.
Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
Peter: Oh yeah.
Stewie: There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore.
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squizzle
AfterDawn Addict
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22. March 2005 @ 05:59 |
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Liar, Liar:
Jim Carrey gets pulled over.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Carrey: Well it depends on how long you were following me.
Cop: Why don't we take it from the top?
Carrey proceeds to rant about what he's done to get pulled over.
Quagmire: Let's play drink the beer!
Peter slams a beer.
Quagmire: You win!
Peter: What do I win?
Quagmire: Another beer!
Peter: All right, I'm going for the world record.
Quagmire: Charlie's got the record.
Camera goes to guy pissing into clock.
Charlie: Hey man, your clock won't flush.
Convert PAL to NTSC or NTSC to PAL------>http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/167922
ScubaPete's guides------>http://www.dvdplusvideo.com/tutorial007.html
Bbmayo's guides------>http://home.comcast.net/~bbmayo/index.html
My ever-growing movie collection------>http://www.intervocative.com/dvdcollection.aspx/squizzle
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Member
1 product review
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22. March 2005 @ 13:54 |
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I wonder what greyhound tastes like, man.
 Protecting coffee tables everywhere! |
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22. March 2005 @ 14:15 |
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From "Half Baked",
Thurgood- I'm sexy. I'm a scholar. People like me.
My rendition of its better to have loved and lost to have never loved before...."Its better to have gotten some action and lost some self esteem than to never have gotten any action at all." http://www.usfguy.net |
Senior Member
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22. March 2005 @ 14:23 |
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Don't Be a Menace to South Central
Loc Dog: How much for these chips?
Korean Woman: Das five dala!
Loc Dog: Five dollars? Damn! I better get some sucky-sucky with that!
Grandma: Ashtray! You little bi*ch ass mo*herfu*ker! Come over here and give your grandma a hug!
EuroTrip
Cooper: Oh, here it is. Bratislava. Hmm. Capital of Slovakia. Oh, here's a fun fact: You made out with your sister, man!
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offset
Member
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22. March 2005 @ 15:23 |
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Bubba Ho-Tep
Bruce Campbell playing Elvis:
"I felt my pecker flutter once, like a pigeon having a heart attack, then it lay back down and remained limp and still."
Shakes the Clown
Mime Jerry:
"Chuck you're not copping a feel on a big tittie lady, let's make a wall."
Mime Jerry:
"Tommy...the next time you lose that hat I'm going to shove it up your ass and it'll make it really hard to walk in the wind."
Binky the Clown:
They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease? Well I'm the quietest fucking wheel you've ever seen."
Shakes the Clown:
(about Binky) "I really don't mind that he's not funny, but what really bugs is that as a human being he's nothing but a lump of shit."
I could go on and on about Shakes the Clown, and I won't even get started on Army of Darkness cause this thread would be a mile long.
If any of you don't have Shakes the Clown...Get it! You will piss yourself laughing at it.
Good...Bad...I'm the guy with the gun. |
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22. March 2005 @ 15:58 |
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Jay and silent bob-strike back:
Jay: I AM MASTER OF THE CLIT! Remember this fuc*ing face! Whenevery you see clit,you see this fuc*ing face!
I make that shit work! No one rules a clit like me!
Not this little fuc*,none of you little fuc*s out there!
I AM THE CLIT COMMANDER!
When it comes to business,this is what I do: I pinch it like this,oh you little fuc*,go rub it around my nose-oooh!
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
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squizzle
AfterDawn Addict
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22. March 2005 @ 16:07 |
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The whole first scene in Jay and Silent Bob where they're in front of the Quick Stop and singin the song. Couldn't stop laughing. Then the kid asks for a nickel bag and he says 15 bucks! Better be some bomb ass shit.
Convert PAL to NTSC or NTSC to PAL------>http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/167922
ScubaPete's guides------>http://www.dvdplusvideo.com/tutorial007.html
Bbmayo's guides------>http://home.comcast.net/~bbmayo/index.html
My ever-growing movie collection------>http://www.intervocative.com/dvdcollection.aspx/squizzle
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AfterDawn Addict
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22. March 2005 @ 16:45 |
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That whole movie is 90% classic lines, LMAO. I had to pick it up today and back it up.
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
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Senior Member
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22. March 2005 @ 16:56 |
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If you all are talking about "Clerks," that was definately a great movie!
"From now on we are poison to you Spider-man...Thats why we call ourselves... VENOM"
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Senior Member
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22. March 2005 @ 18:20 |
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dogma
[Bethany decides to accompany Jay and Silent Bob to New Jersey]
Bethany: I want to go with you.
Jay: What, steady?... OK, but Silent Bob has to live with us and you pay the rent.
Jay: So what's up? You got a friend for Silent Bob, or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds.
Bethany: You're a man of principle.
Jay: Guys like us just don't fall out of the fu*king sky, you know.
[Rufus falls out of the sky]
Jay: Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don't fall out of the sky, you know.
Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.
Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
Jay: Aw fu*k, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
[a shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay]
Jay: Dude, not all the time
Jay: I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fu*ked-up bar.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 22. March 2005 @ 18:21
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squizzle
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22. March 2005 @ 18:23 |
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Don't forget about when Jay and Silent Bob are on the train and Jay wakes up suddenly and says "I didn't cum in you Pete, I swear."
Convert PAL to NTSC or NTSC to PAL------>http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/167922
ScubaPete's guides------>http://www.dvdplusvideo.com/tutorial007.html
Bbmayo's guides------>http://home.comcast.net/~bbmayo/index.html
My ever-growing movie collection------>http://www.intervocative.com/dvdcollection.aspx/squizzle
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