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Custody battle begins!!!
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AfterDawn Addict
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5. December 2008 @ 19:46 |
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I've been at it with child support services this week.My personal rep for my case won't even return my calls,constantly telling me I'm behind,yadayadayada.
I'm trying to get kinzie's SS number. The health dept of the town she was born in said Kinzie isn't even registered.They said I had to go through Child support agency.After finally getting a hold of a live person at CSA,they said it's up to kinzie's mother to get it.What a waste because she's worthless and I've been on her about that for 2 years.
The ex gf's husband took her to child support and she only has to pay $63 a week for 2 kids. I'm paying twice that for 1 child. What a waste. If I knew that money was going toward kinzie,it wouldn't be no big deal. Instead,she's blowing it all on herself.The ex says she has no cellphone,so that still leaves me on call so she can still control me. Her without a cellphone is unheard of.No way to contact her in case of an emergency.
Temporary custody hearing is Dec 23.
Anywho, I have kinzie this weekend!!!!!!
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!! |
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onya
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5. December 2008 @ 21:20 |
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Quote:
at it with child support services
Down Under we have a similar named dept and ours is just plain bent. My sympathies in that regard.
Good luck for the 23rd and have a great weekend with your daughter.
Cheers saugy.
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Senior Member
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5. December 2008 @ 22:51 |
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Ah, the joys of North Carolina Child support. I figured it would be easy to transfer the case from Maryland to North Carolina, right, Oh not so fast here. I gave the case worker copies of all the papers I had received from MD dept of social services, including the case worker in Oregon, case number, contact phone number, all of the Ex's known work areas, everything that Maryland had used to get her. Nothing had changed. North Carolina informs me after one month that they couldn't locate her, and needed more information, so I called Oregon, talked with the case worker, who informed me that my new state was trippin' 'cuz they had everything they needed. I gave Oregon the telephone number and name of my contact person in NC, Oregon called, gave her all the information. One week later I get another letter in the mail saying they still couldn't locate her. I hand delivered a Mapquest map to her house from 5oo Trade st in Charlotte, with a Satellite photo of her house, the case worker had no sense of humour. I then handed the case worker my cellphone with the ex wife on the line, they talked for a bit. One week later, another letter, same result. Called Oregon, they agreed to handle it for me, I've been getting Child support ever since.
Very strange being the only guy in a room of 75 scorned women looking to collect child support, and they suddenly realize that I am looking to collect as well. An Oprah moment definitely.
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AfterDawn Addict
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6. December 2008 @ 07:52 |
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Here in ohio,if a woman owes child support,child support agency doesn't give a hoot. A guy owing child support,they'll throw you in the gas chamber.
The whole system is "F"'d.
With the ecomonomy the way it is,they are terminating 54+ employees at my factory next week.No layoffs.Only way to get their job back,is to re=apply for it in a few years if the economy rebounds.This includes a few engineers,coordinators,maintenance,tool room,but mostly production workers like myself.
My employment is safe,but my clock # may not be good enough to keep days. So if that happens,I'll have to hardship to days to be able to take care of a 2 yr old.
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
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AfterDawn Addict
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19. December 2008 @ 17:50 |
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Final Hearing is next tuesday at 11 am. I didn't even see a temporary custody hearing yet,LOL! If all goes well,christmas won't be as much of a disaster that I thought.
Anywho,the ex gf dropped kinzie off on me today. 3 straight weekends of the lil booger,LOL! I only get kinzie at the Ex's convenience. The ex still has no teeth,LOL. She's got no money to fight me and another custody case getting started with her husband.
Here's 1 of kinzie's christmas pics:
Kinzie and I are wishing all of AD a Merry Christas and Happy New Year!!!!
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
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varnull
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19. December 2008 @ 18:18 |
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Awwww.. isn't she cute..
Fingers crossed for the pair of you on Tuesday.
PP
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AfterDawn Addict
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19. December 2008 @ 18:36 |
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Kinzie's mother was PO'd when she dropped her off.I've been warning her that a rude awakening coming. She called me an A** about 5 times and said I'm doing this at a bad time-christmas.I told her all the hell she put me through the last 6 months.
BTW: Over 60 people got canned today at work today.No layoff,just termination. Mostly the newest hires from the last couple years.It don't even seem like christmas time.
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
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AfterDawn Addict
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23. December 2008 @ 19:42 |
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Today was suppose to be the final hearing,but the ex showed up when she didn't have to. She begged the magistrate to give her more time to save up $$$ for an attorney. When my attorney told me that before the hearing,boy was I PO'd. I told my attorney that I've been waiting over 3 yrs for her to get a lawyer for a divorce. He granted her a little time,but I did get temporary shared parenting with kinzie.Also equal custodianship of her for now. I'll get to see the little bugger open up her presents christmas morning!!!
I was in awe just to have anything in writing instead of the usual "she calls me at her convenience" and I can't contact her.The attorney also requested that she attempt to get kinzie's social security number.
Merry Christmas to All!
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
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varnull
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23. December 2008 @ 23:37 |
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Now's the time to emigrate eh? Boxing day flight to anywhere XD
Happy Xmas to you both :)
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AfterDawn Addict
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26. February 2009 @ 07:50 |
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Update on my case:
I was notified last friday that it was my last day on day shift because of the economy-downsizing. After tomorrow,0ver 150 people got canned since middle of december.. I had to go to the midnight shift monday night.
My final hearing was at 11 am monday. The ex also had a hearing with her husband at 9 am and with the same magistrate. She was a no show for the 1st hearing but was there for my hearing. I let my attorney know that I was on night shift. For how long,I have no clue. I put in a hardship a couple weeks ago without feedback.
So pretty much the last 6 months,$3500+ dollars and my factory has basically pissed away my custody case.
We did manage to get the ex to keep with shared parenting.Working nights,we had to switch some times around for pickup. Since I'll have to be having 2 different people watching kinzie and down to working 24-32 hrs a week,she got the ex to agree to drop the child support to $0. It was suppose to drop half 2 months ago and the b*tch never went to the attorney's office to sign the support paper. I'm sure she'll do the same thing again.
On the good note,since they terminated a sh*tload of people,we're suppose to be back to 40 hrs a week. For how long?
I also recieved kinzie's birth certificate. Now I gotta register her at SS today. Still got 2 years worth of tax exemptions to refile on her because her worthless mother wouldn't do this. News from day shift this morning said I should be coming back. Pretty much too late now.For how long,who knows?
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
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AfterDawn Addict
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26. February 2009 @ 20:30 |
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I was just thrown a curveball today. Hour to the Soc Sec office,hour waiting,and they don't accept birth certificates as proof of identity.
They want either an original or certified copy of:
PassPort-don't you need a birth certificate for that?
Preschool-childcare facility
Medical records-showing name and date of birth
Health Insurance card with her name/date of birth
Adoption record,showing DOB or parents name
Religious record,DOB
Military dependent
Certificate of US citizenship or Naturalization.
So another hr trip home,I called the ex and wanted kinzie's shots records. She said she already got kinzie's ss# and claimed her on 2008 taxes. She didn't get much more refund back because she didn't have any taxes withheld the little she worked last year..
HOLD ON! Court order monday said I claim kinzie 2006-2008.Ex had no problem with it. She said no big deal that she already filed and I could claim her in 2009 and 2010. Magistrate had us agree I get even yrs and she get odd yrs. Sounds like she lied under oath. She's under contempt already and it's only been 4 days since the final hearing.
I figured it at $1825 that she's screwing me and left her a message on her bf's cell phone.She'll hear it sunday.
I was told to file anyways and the IRS would get her. Still waiting on word from my attorney.
I believe I have to put up with this BS for another 16+ yrs, UGGH!
Unless 12/21/12 comes true?
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
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AfterDawn Addict
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27. February 2009 @ 14:58 |
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OK. answering at the end but I did read the original post.
Trying not do get too sidetracked.
I am a single (male) custodial parent of my 7 yr. old.
Although I did win custody of my child, mine was pretty easy because his mother was a (recovering now) alcoholic who clearly couldn't care for him.
I live in California and regardless of how many judges and family counselors that tell me that gender doesn't matter, I will still believe that "All things being equal, aside from aggredious behavior on the part of the mother, she will win". In other words, ties go to the mother.
MHO is to request custody mediation from your court. If you really want to have custody for custody's sake, have your ducks in a row. You will need to show how your child will be better off with you vs. the mother. Be prepared to drag her through the mud, but do it without emotion. If you feel that your mediator isn't giving you a fair shake, you are entitled to request another.
My advice. Be calm, be respectful. Take the emotion out of it even though this is a highly emotional issue.
IMHO, my ex-wife wanted my child as a "meal ticket". I am not saying that she doesn't love him. She loves him and he loves her very much, but IMHO, love alone doesn't provide a stable environment.
He has been with me for 3 years now and is has not always been easy, but for the sake of the love of your child and his/her safety, you can do it.
Writing this today, which is the day I start paying for summer day camp for him, which is going to set me back about $3600 USD. OTOH, my $1700.00 USD/month spousal support ends on 5/31/2009.
Good luck to you. Please feel free to PM me for any additional words of encouragement.
P.S. Re: Exemption. If you are entitled to 2008 just claim her if you have the court order to back it up. Let her explain it to the IRS when she's audited.
P.P.S. Regarding fairness of the court, get this . . Even though I have physical custody and pay 100% of his expenses, I still have to pay her $206.00 USD per month in child support which I can pretty much assure you she doesn't spend entirely on him. At least she's not spending it on alcohol so I guess I can count my blessings there.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 27. February 2009 @ 15:12
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AfterDawn Addict
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27. February 2009 @ 16:16 |
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The ex has no phone.I can only get a hold of her via her bf's cell phone. Yesterday was the only time I bothered them.They got internet but no house phone? She hasn't changed any of her passwords, LOL! She's already hooking up with a boyfriend from last year that she still denies to this day. What would happen if an excon happened to see emails his gf messing around on him? Her kids have already said he hits her and my daughter. Now she threatened her own kids and said they are fibbing.
She only wants kinzie as a meal ticket as well. She's gotta pay childsupport for her 3 kids and she hasn't payed a cent so far.She's still getting welfare and medical card and nobody can't figure out why the state won't do anything about it. She does not want to work. She also has to hand over the childsupport $ to her legal husband for the oldest which isn't his and she said it was BS.
My work is totally screwing everything up.I took kinzie in with me to find out what's going on with my hardship to stay on days.
They're all scared sh@tless because all the hourly associate cuts are done and now the salaried employees are walking the green mile.
I'm waiting a few weeks before I file last yrs returns.She called this morning and I told her I'm claiming kinzie like the court order is to be written up. I told her she'll have to amend her return since it wasn't much of a $$ difference compared to my $1800+ federal and unsure of state.She didn't know how to amend it and I told her I have to amend 2006 and 2007 returns because her worthless ass wouldn't take care it in the last 2+ yrs.
I asked her why she hates me so much for taking care of her and her kids for over 2 yrs.She made me get an attorney to get to see my daughter. I caught her in another lie when I said I had tape on her telling me that after she told me she never said that. She said that's illegal and her excon boyfriend yelling in the background that it's illegal. I told her I was bluffing,LOL.
4 days after the agreement,she's already in contempt. The factory isn't helping my cause,but around my county-there are very few jobs.There's been many times employess at Honda working the off shifts have to quit their $22+ an hr job just to keep their kid/s. More factories shutting down by summer. Siemens closed today and a large bearing factory shuts down in june thanx to Clinton's Nafta!!!!! The worthless non working mothers have a better shot at full custody than the hard working/clean/sober single dads that do work.
Next court date: 8:45, am March 27. Still no sign of a judge.
I'm still documenting everything.Haven't gotten any good tape footage,but now this has stirred her and her excon bf up,LOL! As soon as she starts losing all her child support $, I think she'll be booted out into the street,LOL!
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
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AfterDawn Addict
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27. February 2009 @ 17:50 |
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"She didn't know how to amend it and I told her I have to amend 2006 and 2007 returns because her worthless ass wouldn't take care it in the last 2+ yrs."
Not your problem. Let her figure it out.
All I can say is that I feel for you and wish you the best. Try to take the emotion out of it when you go to court. Trust that the judge will see through the BS.
One day when I was in court I saw the judge get pissed of at both the husband and wife because they kept raising their hands while the judge was speaking. When the judge is talking just keep cool and show respect by listening to what he is saying. If your ex starts talking s**t just keep cool and don't talk over her or even talk to her. Talk to the judge.
I hope that you have a good judge and he will be able to figure it out.
I'm not sure how it is in your county/state but you may want to try to get Child mediation going. Mine was easier because I had a restraining order on my wife and we didn't have to go to mediation together. Otherwise i would have had to sit with her during mediation and get into several he said-she said pi**ing contests. Keep it to the facts and you should look much better.
God bless you and good luck.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 27. February 2009 @ 17:54
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AfterDawn Addict
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27. February 2009 @ 18:08 |
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When we went to the socalled 2nd Final hearing monday,at the end the magistrate asked the ex for her certificate of a parenting class that we were court ordered-but was separately.That hearing was suppose to be last dec 23 because she complained that she didn't have enough time to get an attorney. Well she didn't have that certificate.. She said she didn't have it on her. I pulled mine out to show, but the magistrate knew that I had taken the class.
$40 a pop,25+ people in it so the counselors of that parenthood class made out like bandits,LOL. I can't picture the ex handing them any money,LOL. She still owes every cash advance/quick loan agency in the tri-county area. That can get her in contempt as well.
She did get her new teeth-via welfare?
Money for teeth but no attorney? She needs to get her priorities in order but you can't tell a kid anything.
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 27. February 2009 @ 18:12
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AfterDawn Addict
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27. February 2009 @ 18:55 |
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Oops. Meant to address an earlier post. FYI, in the US Child support is not taxable to the recipient nor tax deductible for the payer.
Spousal support on the other hand, is taxable and tax deductible.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 27. February 2009 @ 18:58
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Junior Member
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11. March 2009 @ 08:45 |
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In U.S. the payor is liable for the tax burden on any child support payments; any tax from alimony or marital support has to be paid by the receiver. I only know this from experience.
To all of you who are being reemed by the system and an ex who seems to control every decision they make, take some advise; I divorced in '97 and paid a combined $335 a week in alimony and child support for my son. At every turn the court system sided with her, even telling me they wouldn't consider shared parenting because she wouldn't agree to it. She left town with him on my weekends, spent the child support money allocated for him on everything but him, tried to poison him against me, hauled me into court because my son and I had talked about him getting baptised when he was ready, and even refused to help out with taking him to Cub Scout meetings and drum lessons because it wasn't her idea.
The best thing you can do while you fight through this is to be a mature, loving parent to your child. Take advantage of the time you have with them and don't throw them in the middle of your mess. Our children are smarter and more intuitive than we give them credit for; in the end they will be closer to you and respect you for the way you've guided and raised them. My son is 17 now; a few years ago he requested that he be allowed to live with me. I enjoy full custody, a great relationship with my son, who will be going away to college next year, and his mother, who pretended to the courts to be the perfect parent, hasn't called or had anything to do with him for almost 5 months running. She figured if she couldn't have it all, she didn't want any. Just put the kids first; everything else will work itself out.
 "The poor dog, in life the firmest friend. The first to welcome, foremost to defend." This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 11. March 2009 @ 08:47
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AfterDawn Addict
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11. March 2009 @ 15:13 |
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Amen brother.
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AfterDawn Addict
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11. March 2009 @ 16:05 |
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Great sermon Rip! I always put kinzie ahead of myself. Her mamma's gotta be nice to me because she realizes how close she is to losing her to me. Her other daughter was at my house with her aunt a couple sundays ago. Kinzie's mom didn't even say nothing to her daughter rachel when she picked kinzie up.
They changed their phone# for the 4th time in 10 months.
Hope everyone's doing better than me right now.
I've been battling some sort of nasty cold/flu for the past week. Caught it from kinzie last tuesday and haven't been able to talk the last 4 days. Started with dry cough,next day went to body aches/tiredness like the muscle flu,chills/sweating/fever for a couple days,then to a chest cold with a painful cough the last several days.Even my eyeballs hurt for 2 days. Throat's getting better,but still can't hardly talk. Cold/flu medicine hasn't done squat for me,LOL!
I'm usually unbreakable. 1 cold/flu every 2-3 yrs.If I did get sick,it was very short and mild.
This is one nasty bug that's getting around my realm.
HP a1118x-b/athlon 64-3300+/BenQ 1650 BCDC/LG 8163B/Modded Wii/Epson-R300 and Ty Watershields!!!
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 11. March 2009 @ 16:06
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