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Where Did All The Old Timers Go, A Public Meeting Place For Open Discussion
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gerry1
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8. September 2007 @ 14:46 |
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Looks like Rin Tin Tin and just as smart!
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Auslander
AfterDawn Addict
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8. September 2007 @ 15:06 |
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i bet she'd like you at first, ger, you charmer!
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Senior Member
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9. September 2007 @ 02:37 |
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Originally posted by gerry1:
YIKES! THEY'VE CLONED IRELAND!!
Haha
You didn't just start a picture war with ireland, did you gerry? :p
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PacMan777
AfterDawn Addict
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9. September 2007 @ 04:10 |
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Here's one for the dog lovers:
gerry1 goes to Auslander's house for dinner.
This is to be his first time meeting the family and he is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
gerry is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to his nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making his eyes water. Left with no other choice, he decides to relieve himself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof.
Before he even had a chance to be embarrassed, Auslander's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under gerry's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "keisha!"
gerry thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across his face.
A couple of minutes later, he was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, he didn't even hesitate. He let a much louder and longer rrrrrip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit keisha!"
Once again gerry smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later he had to let another rip. This time he didn't even think about it.
He let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit keisha, get away from him, before he shits on you!"
The joke was originally about a girl going to her boyfriends house, but under the circumstances I couldn't resist the edit. LOL
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 9. September 2007 @ 04:22
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AfterDawn Addict
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9. September 2007 @ 04:13 |
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**post bug fix**
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gerry1
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9. September 2007 @ 05:19 |
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@Aus ... I actually do have a way with animals ...dogs too but particularly cats. There are a lot of cats that don't even like to be picked up by their owners, let alone strangers, but they always come and within mins I have them on their backs with their legs up and purring while I scratch their tummy!
@pac:
Quote:
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit keisha, get away from him, before he shits on you!"
LMAO!! I had a 240 lb. English mastiff who was quite the farter and with no sense of responsibility about where and when he farted. (They could be pretty damned deadly too LOL!). Sometimes they were huge while at others, he'd let out little farts as he walked ... it was like a metronome ...a fart with each footstep LOL!
Unlike Wolfboy'd shep, those dogs are pretty averese to exercise (just like his owner LOL). You could have thousands of acres for him to run and romp and he'd just lay on the porch and the grass and sleep LOL! Despite that description, he wasn't to be fooled with. He was extremely well trained because of his size and strength. I felt bad because one time this old lady was taking her dog for a walk and it was neither trained or leashed. As dogs do if their not trained, it kept yapping at him and trying to jump him but my mastiff was trained not to respond. The thing bit him in the back on the leg once and when he was about to pounce, I yelled no and he stopped. It bit him harder a second time and there was no stopping him, in just a fraction of a second, he broke that dog's neck like a dried twig. I felt bad for the old lady but hell...
He could get up on his hind legs and eat off the stove (which he did on more that one occasion) leaving me to wipe off bacon grease over damed near everything. On another, it ate the entire Easter ham right off the table; we ate cheesburgers with a lot of fancy fixins LOL!. Lord, I miss that big, dumb, constantly drooling beast LOL!
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AfterDawn Addict
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9. September 2007 @ 05:38 |
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We all miss our childhood shadows. I know I still do.
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gerry1
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9. September 2007 @ 05:59 |
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@Garmoon ... I was 40 LOL! Though I had both dogs and cats since I moved out of my parents when I was a kid. They grew up as farmers though; having critters in the house was unacceptable to them ...except my canary which my dad killed when it got sick (I didn't find that out until I was seventeen or so when he let it slip out LOL!)
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AfterDawn Addict
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9. September 2007 @ 07:29 |
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GOOD MORNING TO YE ALL
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AfterDawn Addict
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9. September 2007 @ 07:52 |
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@gerry
And you still haven't grown up yet. LMAO
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gerry1
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9. September 2007 @ 08:55 |
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@Garmoon ... so very true! (Off subject a bit but I see huge numbers of people in my job and it isn't uncommon to find grown adults who still suck their thumb LOL! I see it most among the welfare recipients .. I'm no sociologist so I'm at a loss to explain that worthless observation.)
@Ireland ... now you've done it! You've got me in the mood for bacon and eggs. I've got some left over potatos for homefries ... see what you've done! Off to the kitchen I go!
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 9. September 2007 @ 08:57
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aabbccdd
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9. September 2007 @ 10:22 |
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This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 9. September 2007 @ 10:57
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AfterDawn Addict
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9. September 2007 @ 10:28 |
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aabbccdd,839k is a very big pix if ye read a post of mine i asked to keep pixs under 100k or post a link for pixs over 100k..so this thread does not slow down...
another reasion dial ups will have a hard time loading this page
thanks
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AfterDawn Addict
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9. September 2007 @ 17:02 |
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FOR GERRY1,Stress Relief
Stress Relief
Last week I went to a seminar called Stress and Disease by Dr. Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology. He gave an example of a coping skill for job stress, which I would like to share with you. When you have had one of those "TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT" days, try this.
On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by *Q-TIP. Be very sure that you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed.
Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.
Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that "every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested."
Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, " I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company."
Our company has always had a problem with interoffice communications. For instance, last week the Personnel Department sent around a memo on sexual harassment. Three people initialed it and six people signed up for it.
Top 11 Reasons to Go to Work Naked
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your butt in here by 8:00!"
2. Can take advantage of computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
3. Inventive way to finally meet that hunk in Human Resources.
4. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
5. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
6. You want to see if it's like the dream.
7. So that, with a little help from Muzak, you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
8. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
9. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
10. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
11. No one steals your chair.
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Senior Member
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10. September 2007 @ 14:20 |
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@ Gerry, blitvet, rav, thanks for taking the time to be interested :D
As AS levels are gonna get pretty hefty, ive made it so i work wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday and sunday. 5 hours a day (averaged that is..), give or take.
Which when u think about it...is £133 a week. I believe thats about $250! Thats great for a 16 year old in full time education.
and i can manage it too, as i have monday and tuesday nights, tuesday i have like 4 free periods (study periods instead of lessons), and saturday day time and sunday day time to do all homework.
I think i have this year pretty sorted out :D Im happy.
Thanks ireland!![afterdawn legend]
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Member
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10. September 2007 @ 14:25 |
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Stick to it, billybob. You are investing in your future. Good luck. George
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AfterDawn Addict
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10. September 2007 @ 19:46 |
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One day the sheriff sees Billy-Bob walking around town with nothing on except his boots. The sheriff says "Billy-Bob, what the heck are you doing walking around town dressed like that?"
Billy-Bob replies "Well, Sheriff, me and Mary-Lou was down on the farm and we started a-cuddlin'. Mary-Lou said we should go in the barn and we did. Inside the barn we started a kissing and a-cuddlin' some more and things got pretty hot and heavy. Well, then Mary-Lou took off all her clothes and said that I should do the same. So, I took off all my clothes except my boots. Then Mary-Lou lay herself on the hay and said, 'Okay Billy-Bob, let's go to town!'... I guess I'm the first one here."
Two English guys are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Billbob, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, if ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmm...five?"
A English guy named billbob came home and found his house on fire, he rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here. My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"
Late one Friday afternoon, our friend Billy Hill went hunting for deer.
"Hey ma, grab me my huntin' gun! I'm going to get me some 'o those deers!"
Ma hands Billy a gun.
"Billy Bob Hill, now don't go doin' somethin' stupid like shootin' yerself in the eye with that there gun!"
"Ok Mama."
Five hours later, Billy comes home with his deer.
"Hey Mama, I got somethin' to tell ya!"
"Did ya shoot yerself in the eye?"
"No mama!"
"Then who'd ya shoot this time? It wasn't Joe from down the street was it? Cause ifin' it was, his daddy's gonna beat your butt an' I ain't gonna stop him!"
"No! I got the purdiest deer anybodys ever seen 'round these parts!"
"Let me take a look at that there deer, Billy!"
Mama Hill stares at the deer when Billy brings it in.
"Sure has a purdy coat, don't it Ma? Darn thing sure was hard to kill though! After I shot it a few dozen times, the darn thing still didn' wanna die! So's I got up and beat it with the butt'a my gun! Hey Ma, what kinda gun is that, anyways? It's got some funny colored bullets!"
"Oh, Billy, that ain't no huntin' gun! That's your daddy's paintin' gun!"
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Senior Member
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11. September 2007 @ 01:10 |
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Is the red really appropriate at this time in the morning?
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Senior Member
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11. September 2007 @ 01:25 |
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This is the red eye reading flight. LOL Chris
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AfterDawn Addict
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11. September 2007 @ 08:59 |
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As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection. A thick slab of ham, a fresh bun, crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.
The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the picnic table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side. "Hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of
mustard on my fingers.
I love mustard. I had no napkin. I licked it off. It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster.
It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do, only I did it on my tongue.
Later my wife said, "Now you know why they call that mustard 'Poupon!'"
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gerry1
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13. September 2007 @ 04:21 |
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GOOD MORNING BOYS AND GIRLS!!I'm stopping by to say hello! I miss you sorry guys LOL!
SOMETHING GREAT ON THE NEWS THIS MORNING THAT YOU WON'T BELIEVE!!: It was suggest that Americans really need to cut back on beef. This was for health reasons however; it was for environmental(SP?) ones. I don't think many would argue that there is a problem with greenhouse gasses, well, the justification for the suggest about less beef was because our demand for beef obviously creates a larger population of bovines: since methane is a greenhouse gas, cows play a significant role in global warming because the fart a lot LOL!!! I will post a link if I can find one.
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AfterDawn Addict
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13. September 2007 @ 09:00 |
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SENT TO ME BY GEAR79,SOME WILL REMEMBER HIM AS HES A OLD TIMEER WHO IS MISSED BY ALL WHO KNEW HIM.
Looks like,the old timers and young times have left the house
how meny are still here.
Forget Rednecks, here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about
>>folks from
> Texas ....
>
> If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they
>don't work
> there, you may live in Texas
>
> If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live
>in Texas ..
>
> If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who
>dialed a
> wrong number, you may live in Texas ..
>
> If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of Dallas for the
>weekend, you may
> live in Texas ..
>
> If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas ..
>
> If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once,
>you may live
> in Texas ..
>
> If you install security lights on your house and garage, but
>leave both
> unlocked, you may live in Texas ..
>
> If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how
>to use them,
> you may live in Texas ..
>
> If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80
>and
> everybody s passing you, you may live in Texas ..
>
> If you find 60 degrees "a little chilly", you may live in Texas
>.
>
> If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all
>your Texas
> friends & others, you definitely live in Texas ..
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gerry1
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13. September 2007 @ 09:40 |
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LOL! That was pretty good!
@Ireland ... I miss Gear; how is he?
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ddp
Moderator
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13. September 2007 @ 17:23 |
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say hi to gear, ireland.
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Moderator
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13. September 2007 @ 17:41 |
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^second that ddp
would like to know how he's doing these days..
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