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the afterdawn mods and ps3
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AfterDawn Addict
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17. July 2006 @ 16:36 |
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What If Food Was Dirty
And Sex Was Clean? (you mean it's not??)
When you think of it, there are only two things people need. You got to have sex. You got to have food. That's it. You don't need clothing, shelter, or TV. Okay, maybe TV, but otherwise, it's sex and food. But for some reason, some people think sex is dirty. Maybe God was a Republican. Somebody said, "All right, you want to propagate, go ahead, but only late at night, with all the doors closed, man on top, once a week, that's it." But not only can you eat the charred decaying flesh of other major mammals, you can do it in broad daylight and invite all your friends to watch: "Hey, Chuck, why don't you come over on Sunday? We're going to kill a pig, cut him up, burn him, and eat him. Bring the kids, have a hell of a time."
What if they had been switched around? What if, through a simple twist of fate, sex was clean but food was dirty? Our entire culture would change. Food would become a four-letter word
"Two burgers and a bag of fries. Crinkle cut."
When people got angry at you, they'd yell out "Oh yeah? Well, food you. Suck cheese you Popsicle slurper." Punks in passing cars would flip you the fork. Flashers would have pizzas strapped to their chests. "Ohmigod. It's a pepperoni." Locker room talk would change. "Hey, man, how'd you do this weekend?" "Two burgers and a bag of fries. Crinkle cut." Garlic would be illegal in most Southern states. Supermarkets would check I.D.'s and charge admission to the poultry section. Frederick's of Hollywood would feature peekaboo napkins and day-of-the-week paper plates. Foreplay would be listed as a menu selection. Vice squads would conduct raids on backyard barbecues. "All right, put down your meat. Just back away from the buns,
mister." Vegetarians would be prohibited from becoming teachers and a lot of them would move to the Bay Area. Hookers would become cooks. You'd be accosted on street corners by plump ladies in Day-Glo aprons. "Hey, big boy, looking for a hot meal? Wanna crack some crab?" Fudamental Christians would make meat and potatoes a religious tenet. Many sexual positions would be found to be carcinogenic. Parents would tell their children not to play with their food or they'll go blind. Kids would remember the first time their mother caught them marinating.
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tocool4u
Suspended permanently
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17. July 2006 @ 16:36 |
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@Face123
I can gurentee(SP) It is him.....Earlier he had in his my.afterdawn profile that he was dnglbry....And whourdady has the same pic in his my.afterdawn as dnglbry had...Trust me I know it is.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 17. July 2006 @ 16:36
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AfterDawn Addict
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17. July 2006 @ 16:39 |
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and this Insults is for whourdady,
50 Useful Insults
1. Shouldn't a guy with your IQ have a low voice too?
2. After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
3. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.
4. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
5. You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
6. You've got diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
7. I wonder whether you'd still be an idiot if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
8. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
9. Your job must be to spread ignorance.
10. Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be left out alone.
11. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
12. You should need a license to be that ugly.
13. Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
14. Every boy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
15. Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.
16. You have the IQ of lint.
17. You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
18. You are living proof that man can live without a brain.
19. People would follow you anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
20. I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
21. I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
22. I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.
23. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame.
24. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be.
25. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
26. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
27. If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.
28. If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
29. If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart.
30. If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself.
31. I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
32. I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
33. It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't matter.
34. I've come across decomposing bodies that are less offensive than you are.
35. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission.
36. Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.
37. Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
38. People can't say that you have absolutely nothing. After all, you have inferiority!
39. Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
40. Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
41. The inbreeding is certainly obvious in your family.
42. We all spring from apes but you didn't spring far enough.
43. We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
44. When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down.
45. When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
46. When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!
47. You are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass.
48. You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.
49. You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.
50. Aren't you the poster child for birth control?
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AfterDawn Addict
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17. July 2006 @ 16:39 |
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Yeah you "probably" right. Any ways shouldent he get banned? Beats me im no mod.
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Moderator
1 product review
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17. July 2006 @ 17:01 |
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This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 17. July 2006 @ 17:02
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AfterDawn Addict
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17. July 2006 @ 17:12 |
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LOCOENG
i do not remember where i got it from,all i know its on my computer external hd dated from around 2003 in my joke file...
jokes like this
Home Remedies
It is always important to have a plan of action ready in case an unfortunate event occurs at home. Here are some helpful tips that could really help out...
1. If you are chocking on an ice cube don't panic. Simply pour a kettle of freshly boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid argument with the missus about lifting toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. High Blood pressure sufferers: Make an incision in your left or right wrist and bleed yourself for several hours, reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough
7. Avoid the mess when your toilet backs up, use the yard.
Of course we don't recommend you actually use any of these remedies, they are for humor purposes only.
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AfterDawn Addict
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17. July 2006 @ 17:15 |
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Golfing Injury
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning.
The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
The ball hit one of the men and he immediately clasped his hands together at his crotch, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in obvious agony.
The woman rushed down to the man and immediately began to apologize. "Please allow me to help. I'm a physical therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd allow me," she told him earnestly.
"Ummph, oooh, noooo... I'll be fine in a few minutes", he replied breathlessly as he remained in the fetal position still clasping his hands together at his crotch.
But she persisted, and he finally allowed her to help him. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, she loosened his pants, and put her hands inside. She began to massage his privates.
She then asked him, "How does that feel?"
He replied still in agony, "It feels great, but it doesn't do a thing for my thumb. It still hurts like hell!"
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gerry1
Suspended permanently
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17. July 2006 @ 17:15 |
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I don't know who stole what from whom but I love that speech. I want to send it to my boss.
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AfterDawn Addict
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17. July 2006 @ 17:20 |
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all anything i post is free to use by anybody..
as i do not own the stuff,
so in fact it is not stole from me...
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Moderator
1 product review
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17. July 2006 @ 17:23 |
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I will not use it again and I will remove it from my blog.
Quote:
ireland
DVDXCopy Chief Moderator
_ 17. July 2006 @ 20:32 _ Link to this message Report an offensive post Send private message to this user
click here as i did post it here
http://forums.afterdawn.com/thread_view.cfm/3/276134#1605028
Proper credit where credit is due....good night gentlemen.
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 17. July 2006 @ 17:26
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AfterDawn Addict
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17. July 2006 @ 17:29 |
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LOCOENG,sorry
do not be mad,i only linked it so all can get a copy of what ye posted in case it was not the total post..
i should of explained my reasoning behind the link
as i was posting to a guy on another web site...at that time..its yours to use any time ye want
i am leaving too,see ye all...
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 17. July 2006 @ 17:43
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AfterDawn Addict
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18. July 2006 @ 12:39 |
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ahaha i cant believe a missed another good thread..
But they all do sort of the same thing, and that is rearrange what you thought was real, and they remind you of the beauty of very simple things. You forget, because youre so busy going from a to z, that theres 24 letters in between... You turn on... tune in... and you drop out...
PS3 Username: Anubis66
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ddp
Moderator
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18. July 2006 @ 12:45 |
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shame of you, anubis!!
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AfterDawn Addict
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18. July 2006 @ 13:02 |
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shame on you! how many times did this thread go off-topic and u havnt closed it?? :P (i'm just playing, please dont kill me..)
But they all do sort of the same thing, and that is rearrange what you thought was real, and they remind you of the beauty of very simple things. You forget, because youre so busy going from a to z, that theres 24 letters in between... You turn on... tune in... and you drop out...
PS3 Username: Anubis66
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ddp
Moderator
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18. July 2006 @ 13:08 |
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ban, ban, ban!!!!!!!
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Senior Member
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18. July 2006 @ 13:48 |
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Oh this could have been avoided. Then again I always think that.
anubis even if u didn't miss it you prob would have kept your mouth shut for quite awhile like i did.
Anyways lessons learnt are lessons never to be forgotten.
XXYYQQOO!!! Yeah WELCOME TO JAMROCK
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Senior Member
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18. July 2006 @ 13:50 |
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So gentle folk at what point does this discussion end.
XXYYQQOO!!! Yeah WELCOME TO JAMROCK
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ddp
Moderator
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18. July 2006 @ 14:03 |
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now. closed
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