Originally posted by gerry1:

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Good morning! Coffee and sinkers for everyone!




@Ireland...your joke reminds me of my time at Camp LeJeune N.C. Still angry over losing the civil war, the local cops use to stop everyone with a license plate north of Virginia. It was even worse for me and my roommate who was from D.C. and we both drove a bug (only pinko commies drove VWs!) My roommate got tired of it and bought this beat up pick up truck with fish decals on the doors, a gun rack and North Carolina plates and he was never bothered again LOL!

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Originally posted by Lethal_B:

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Only in America would that many doughnuts be necessary in one area..

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Quote:

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> YOUR AGE BY EATING OUT
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> Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but your waiter may know!
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> YOUR AGE BY DINER & RESTAURANT MATH
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> This is pretty neat
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> DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
> It takes less than a minute .
> Work this out as you read ..
> Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out!
> This is not one of those waste of time things, it's fun.
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> 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to go out to eat.
> (more than once but less than 10)
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> 2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
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> 3. Add 5
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> 4. Multiply it by 50
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> 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1757 ...
> If you haven't, add 1756.
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> 6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
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> You should have a three digit number
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> The first digit of this was your original number
> (I.e., how! Many times you want to go out to restaurants in a week.)
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> The next two numbers are
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> YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)
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> THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR (2007) IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS

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Quote:

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RELIGIOUS BRAS



A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, one of the largest department store chains. He shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There is more than one type?"

"Look Around," said the saleslady, as she showed him a sea of bras in every shape, size color and material. Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.

Confused, the man asked what were the types.

The saleslady replied, "The Catholic type, the Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"

Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"

The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills."

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Quote:

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THE WONDER OF IT ALL



The chicken industry was in terrible shape, losing money and laying off thousands of employees. Industry leaders hit upon a plan. They went to see the Pope and said, "We'll give you a million dollars if you can convince the world's religious leaders to change the part of the Bible that says, "Give us this day our daily bread" to, "Give us this day our daily chicken."

The Pope was outraged and said, "No!!"

The chicken leaders said, "Ok, ten million dollars."

The Pope replied, "Absolutely not! I will not tamper with the Word of God!"

The men said, "Ok, one hundred million dollars!"

The Pope couldn't resist anymore. He accepted.

At the next meeting of the General Council, the Pope said, "I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that I've made 100 million dollars for the church. The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."

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Quote:

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A Boss walked into the office one morning not knowing that his zipper
was down and his fly area is wide open. His secretary walked up to him
and said "Boss this morning when you left your house, did you close your
garage door?"

This was not a phrase that her Boss understood, so he went into his
office looking a bit puzzled. When he was about done with his paperwork
he suddenly noticed that his zipper was not zipped up.

He zipped up and remembering what his secretary had told him, finally
understood. Then he intentionally went out to ask for a cup of coffee
from his secretary. When he reached her desk, he said "When you saw the
garage door open did you see my Mercedes parked in there?"

The secretary smiled for a moment and said "No Boss, I didn't. All I saw
was a Mini Ford with two flat tires."

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