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GrandpaBW: its friday funnies
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Auslander
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28. September 2005 @ 14:54 |
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well, it occurs to me that if something is worth doing, then it's worth doing to the best of one's ability. i'm simply giving some encouragement to the dissing, as i would with anything else :D
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28. September 2005 @ 14:55 |
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Lethal, who is that pretty young lady in your sig?
@Auslander: You need troll lessons, young fella. :)
Life is good!
GrandpaBruce - Vietnam Vet - 1970 - 1971
Computer: Intel Core i7-920 Nehalim;Asus P6T Deluxe V2
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 28. September 2005 @ 14:56
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28. September 2005 @ 15:06 |
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keira knightly, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm....... *wipping drool*
!!thecraigc!!
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Senior Member
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28. September 2005 @ 15:25 |
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better thing for auslander
whats that red thing on the side?? i wonder????
!!thecraigc!!
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 28. September 2005 @ 15:26
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regor
Senior Member
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28. September 2005 @ 20:27 |
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ahhhh.... now I know what happened; I woke up from my dream and Auslander really is half wolf!
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
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andmerr
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28. September 2005 @ 22:26 |
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Birds and Bees
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
?Mother, where do babies come from??
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, ?Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.?
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, ?That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy?s vagina. That?s how you get a baby, honey.? The child seems to comprehend.
?Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy?s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that??
?Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.?
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andmerr
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28. September 2005 @ 22:33 |
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well i havent been here much of late and i already see the wankers trying to rumble with me.That aside he's another to get you in the mood for some humour.
Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions
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Auslander
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2. October 2005 @ 16:37 |
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bruce: i need to take them, or i need to give them? LOL
craig: how'd you catch me without a shave or good make-up? that red there is the lovely lola's boobage! XD
regor: so, i'm in your dreams often? *kiss*
andy: hilarious as always, oh setter of humorous standards :D
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regor
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4. October 2005 @ 18:22 |
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maybe I was dreaming about boobage ??
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
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Auslander
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5. October 2005 @ 03:39 |
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*shrugs* lol, just host your image on photobucket, regor! me wants to see-ee! XD
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andmerr
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5. October 2005 @ 03:41 |
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and so does kinza....................lol
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regor
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6. October 2005 @ 19:47 |
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i'm out there, and as cute as a button. almost as cute as kinza! :)
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
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andmerr
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6. October 2005 @ 21:10 |
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you would have to say that, but your showing bias towards your self.Maybe show us the pic AND then you might get some positive feedback from the ladies
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nrautava
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7. October 2005 @ 13:30 |
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Quote:
andmerr
well i havent been here much of late and i already see the wankers trying to rumble with me.That aside he's another to get you in the mood for some humour.
Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions
This is so unfair... What else can I say...
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 7. October 2005 @ 13:31
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Auslander
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7. October 2005 @ 13:56 |
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but it's still mostly true, niko. that's life's way of making up for the advantages society often (unfairly) gives guys! XD
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 7. October 2005 @ 13:57
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andmerr
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7. October 2005 @ 20:11 |
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Quote:
This is so unfair... What else can I say
apologies , didnt think you were a women but if you were offended, it's quite simple.
Seek an audience with neph the wise and get him to shut the thread down
otherwise have a pleasant day
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andmerr
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7. October 2005 @ 20:15 |
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what men would do if they had a vagina for a day
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
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andmerr
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7. October 2005 @ 20:16 |
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alls fair with the sexes and if some of you all thought i was being unfair or biased towards women well badluck but my conscience got the better of me on thisa one so heres both sides........
what women would do if they had a penis for a day
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9......
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 7. October 2005 @ 20:17
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andmerr
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7. October 2005 @ 21:47 |
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lets see who has a dirty IQ.Heres a list of questions.
Lets see what answers people come up with.I will post the answers in a day or so depending on the response.As always have fun.
Check your Dirty IQ!
Questions:
1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I?
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?
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regor
Senior Member
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9. October 2005 @ 19:07 |
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1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I? DENTIST
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I? WEDDING RING
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I? SUNFLOWER SEED
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I? BUBBLE GUM
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I? ELEVATOR
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I? NOSE
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I? MAILMAN
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I? WOMANS PROPHALACTIC ?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I? NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR ?
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I? A BOOGER :)
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
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andmerr
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9. October 2005 @ 21:24 |
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your not trying hard enough .You got 3 right.
dentist
ring
nose
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Auslander
AfterDawn Addict
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10. October 2005 @ 03:36 |
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9 is a crane/wrecking ball.
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andmerr
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10. October 2005 @ 11:47 |
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correct auslander, how about the others
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AfterDawn Addict
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10. October 2005 @ 13:56 |
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Number 7 is the paper boy.
Number 3 is peanut butter.
Life is good!
GrandpaBruce - Vietnam Vet - 1970 - 1971
Computer: Intel Core i7-920 Nehalim;Asus P6T Deluxe V2
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 10. October 2005 @ 13:57
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Auslander
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10. October 2005 @ 13:59 |
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1. dentist
2. ring
3. peanut butter/peanuts
4. bubble gum?
5. a mine
6. nose
7. newspaper delivery boy
8. gloves?
9. crane/wrecking ball
10. a snail?
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