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GrandpaBW: its friday funnies
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AfterDawn Addict
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30. August 2005 @ 02:02 |
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@ Phantom, re the nun/priest joke, the way that some priests have abused children in their care & the cruel way nuns treated children in homes, nobody has room to complain! Keep 'em comin'!
Gif by Phantom69
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andmerr
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30. August 2005 @ 02:10 |
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no that was lame
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regor
Senior Member
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30. August 2005 @ 19:08 |
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the soap, maybe?
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
Senior Member
3 product reviews
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31. August 2005 @ 18:08 |
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i will try and find some more funny stuff...
PS: someone stole my sig, if you see them, tell them off for me, cause i already asked he/she
"Its so hard to try to be different..."-Apocalypse Hoboken |
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ddp
Moderator
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31. August 2005 @ 18:22 |
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is it copyrighted to the RIAA??
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andmerr
Suspended permanently
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31. August 2005 @ 18:32 |
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maybe you should ask for royalties just like the RIAA
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ddp
Moderator
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31. August 2005 @ 18:37 |
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that's a good idea!!!
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killerc
Suspended permanently
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31. August 2005 @ 19:02 |
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these jks kill me
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Wolf36
Junior Member
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31. August 2005 @ 19:09 |
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Remind you of anyone Andmerr??
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 31. August 2005 @ 19:09
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andmerr
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31. August 2005 @ 20:37 |
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your just so funny wolf
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regor
Senior Member
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31. August 2005 @ 21:33 |
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I got it!
was it the soap?
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
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Wolf36
Junior Member
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31. August 2005 @ 22:59 |
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Thought you'd like it Andmerr LOL
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andmerr
Suspended permanently
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31. August 2005 @ 23:49 |
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thats really good but do you picture me like that
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regor
Senior Member
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1. September 2005 @ 20:05 |
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the newspaper, then?
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
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andmerr
Suspended permanently
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1. September 2005 @ 22:29 |
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wolf your got to visit more often , otherwise you'd know i dont have a table
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andmerr
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2. September 2005 @ 02:51 |
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its friday and i've got new material:
for one and all enjoy
There are these 3 kids on the ground and 3 army men in an airplane...
The first man on the plane takes a bite out of an apple and says"This apple is bad.",and throws it out the window. The second man takes a bite out of an orange and says "This orange isn't ripe.", and throws it out the window.
The third guy gets a grinade and pulls the pin----- "This is a dud.", and throws it out the window.
On the ground 2 kids are crying and 1 kid is laughing.
The kid that's laughing goes to the first kid thats crying and asks "Why are you cryin?" The crying kid says "An apple fell outta thin air and hit my head"
The kid that's laughing says OK and asks the second crying kid "Why are you cryin?
He says "An orange fell outa thin air and hit me on my head." Both kids that are crying asks the kid thats laughing "Why you LAUGHING?" HE says "I just farted and that building blew up.
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A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a table for a reading group. After the story was read she gave the children a work sheet to do. She thought they may have some problems so wanted them to work on it there.
She heard a little girl say very softly "damn!".
The teacher leaned over and said quietly, "We don't say that in school."
The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big and she said, "Not even when things are all fucked up?!"
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One night a father overheard his unusually psychic son saying his prayers. "God bless Mommy and Daddy and Grammy. Goodbye Grampa."
Well, the father thought it was strange, but he soon forgot about it. The next day, the Grandfather died.
About a month or two later the father heard his son saying his prayers again.
"God bless Mommy. God bless Daddy. Goodbye Grammy."
The next day the grandmother died. Well, the father was getting more than a little worried about the whole situation. Two weeks later, the father once again overheard his sons prayers.
"God Bless Mommy. Good bye Daddy." This alone nearly gave the father a heart attack. He didn't say anything but he got up early to go to work, so that he would miss the traffic. He stayed all through lunch and dinner. Finally after midnight he went home. He was still alive!
When he got home he apologized to his wife. "I am sorry Honey. I had a very bad day at work today."
"YOU THINK YOU'VE HAD A BAD DAY!?", the wife yelled, "The mailman dropped dead on my doorstep this morning!"
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ddp
Moderator
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2. September 2005 @ 07:46 |
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always blame the postman for your kids!!
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regor
Senior Member
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2. September 2005 @ 17:45 |
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you people are dumber than a bag of hammers <grin>
all you had to do to get me to stop was simple...
yea regor, she bent down to pick up the soap. Jolly that!
or simply:
yup, it was the soap alrighty, then... and the dogs nails turned out great!
or she bent down to pick up a:
fish bone
snail shell
newspaper
gum wrapper
china doll
cigarette butt
popcicle stick
used dental floss
a baby's arm holding an apple (Tubes, 1975 rock genre, see below)
but noooooooo....
....you chose to ignore me....
I still say it was the soap!
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Tubes single 1975 - What Do You Want From Life?
++++++++
What do you want from life?
To kidnap an heiress or threaten her with a knife?
What do you want from life?
To get cable TV and watch it every night?
There you sit, a lump in your chair.
Where do you sleep, and what do you wear when you're sleeping?
What do you want from life?
An Indian guru to show you the inner light?
What do you want from life?
A meaningless love affair with a girl that you met tonight?
How can you tell when you're doin' alright?
Does your bank account swell while you're dreaming at night?
How do know when you're really in love?
Do violins play when you're touching the one that you're loving?
What do you want from life?
Someone to love and somebody that you can trust?
What do you want from life?
To try and be happy while you do the nasty things you must?
Well, you can't have that. But if you're an American citizen you are entitled to:
A heated kidney shaped pool,
a microwave oven - don't watch the food cook,
a Dyna-Gym - I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home,
a kingsize Titanic Unsinkable Molly Brown waterbed with polybendum,
a foolproof plan and an airtight alibi,
real simulated Indian jewelry,
a Gucci shoetree,
a year's supply of antibiotics,
a personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth
and Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number.
A beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick,
Rosemary's baby,
a dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams.
A new Matador,
a new mastodon,
a Maverick,
a Mustang,
a Montego,
a Mercury Montclair,
a Mark IV,
a meteor,
a Mercedes,
an MG,
or a Malibu.
A Mort Moriarty,
a Maserati,
a Mac truck,
a Mazda,
a new Monza,
or a moped.
A Winnebago - hell, a herd of Winnebago's we're giving 'em away.
Or how about a McCulloch chainsaw,
a Las Vegas wedding,
a Mexican divorce,
a solid gold Kama Sutra coffee pot,
or a baby's arm holding an apple?
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
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andmerr
Suspended permanently
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3. September 2005 @ 14:48 |
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Quote:
I still say it was the soap!
well we thought you wanted to carry on a bit so we let you.But your right it probably was the soap dish
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ddp
Moderator
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3. September 2005 @ 17:35 |
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at least it wasn't your corn!!!!
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romero
Senior Member
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4. September 2005 @ 13:20 |
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Quote:
"I just farted and that building blew up."
This is gross and goes badly offtopic, but at yesterday night I scared shit out of 2 rabbits eating on my background by farting on the balcony.
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regor
Senior Member
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5. September 2005 @ 18:45 |
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Quote:
at least it wasn't your corn!!!!
oh man, now that I think of it....
I so wish I had thought of that <grin>
that ddp!
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
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ddp
Moderator
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5. September 2005 @ 18:49 |
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i know!!!!!
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regor
Senior Member
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6. September 2005 @ 18:08 |
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ohhhh kayyyy whatttt everrrr....
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
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regor
Senior Member
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6. September 2005 @ 18:23 |
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A man phones home from his office and says to his wife, "I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime.
I have to leave right away. Pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
The man rushes home to grab everything. He hugs his wife, apologizes for the short notice, and then hurries off.
A week later, the man returns and his wife asks, "Did you have a good trip, dear?"
The man replies, "Yep, the fishing was great... but you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
His wife smiles and says, "Oh, no I didn't... I put them in your tackle box!"
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
