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GrandpaBW: its friday funnies
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andmerr
Suspended permanently
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18. January 2006 @ 08:23 |
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so wheres your joke sobhy2406, this is a joke thread, what a waste of a post or are you the joke.......lol
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ddp
Moderator
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18. January 2006 @ 08:31 |
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har har hee har!!!
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andmerr
Suspended permanently
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18. January 2006 @ 08:35 |
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at least you can see the funny side ddp
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Senior Member
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18. January 2006 @ 08:47 |
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no my sigs a joke :D
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AfterDawn Addict
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19. January 2006 @ 09:00 |
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AfterDawn Addict
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19. January 2006 @ 09:05 |
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looks like a AfterDawn Addict is on the road again,
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AfterDawn Addict
1 product review
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19. January 2006 @ 12:42 |
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Lol @ the pic ^^
-Mike
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ddp
Moderator
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19. January 2006 @ 12:53 |
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anybody we know, ireland??
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forkman
Member
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19. January 2006 @ 14:06 |
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Jack and Jill - A lesson on how NOT to conduct your wedding night.
Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side and said,
You'll like this one !!
"When I got married to your mother the first thing I did when we got home
was to take off my trousers. I gave them to your mother and told her to try
them on, which she did. They were enormous on her and she said to me that
she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too large.
I said to her, "Of course they are too large for you. I wear the trousers
in this family and I always will. Ever since that day we have never had a
single problem".
Jack took his father's advice to heart and as soon as he got Jill alone
after
the wedding, he did the same thing. He took off his trousers and handed them
to Jill and told her to try them on. When she did she said "I can't wear
these, they're far too large for me".
"Exactly" Jack replied "I wear the trousers in this family and I always
will.
I don't want you to ever forget that".
Then Jill took off her knickers and gave them to Jack. "Try these on Jack"
she said, so he tried them on but they were too small.
"I can't get into your knickers" said Jack. So Jill said "Exactly, and if
you don't change your f****** attitude, you never will!"
I drink lots because my Liver is EVIL
and must be punished.
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AfterDawn Addict
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22. January 2006 @ 06:56 |
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funny pic ireland
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regor
Senior Member
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22. January 2006 @ 18:13 |
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then what happened?
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
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23. January 2006 @ 23:14 |
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Ok ok heres one
Whats Better than eating a Mandarin?
Playstation 2 ---- Matrix Infinity
Gamecube --------- Ninja Mod
Xbox 360 --------- Firmware Hack
Xbox-------------- Duo X2
PC---------------- Core 2 Duo e6850, 9800gtx, 4gig ddr2-8500, 780i Vista 64-bit
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Member
1 product review
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23. January 2006 @ 23:15 |
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:-p
Eating Amanda Out
Playstation 2 ---- Matrix Infinity
Gamecube --------- Ninja Mod
Xbox 360 --------- Firmware Hack
Xbox-------------- Duo X2
PC---------------- Core 2 Duo e6850, 9800gtx, 4gig ddr2-8500, 780i Vista 64-bit
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AfterDawn Addict
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24. January 2006 @ 10:21 |
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good one, Dude2099
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Moderator
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24. January 2006 @ 10:30 |
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This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 24. January 2006 @ 10:34
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colw
Senior Member
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24. January 2006 @ 12:48 |
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Aunt Karen's Moral
The teacher gave her class an assignment... Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess." "What's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, "don't count your chickens before they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Sarah. Michael, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the Gulf War and her plane was hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whisky on the way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets.Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke. Then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay the f#ck away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking"
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AfterDawn Addict
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24. January 2006 @ 13:50 |
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ROFLMAO, colw!!!!!!
Life is good!
GrandpaBruce - Vietnam Vet - 1970 - 1971
Computer: Intel Core i7-920 Nehalim;Asus P6T Deluxe V2
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 24. January 2006 @ 13:50
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AfterDawn Addict
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26. January 2006 @ 01:39 |
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LMFAO, good one colw
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andmerr
Suspended permanently
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26. January 2006 @ 08:03 |
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Jeff the Bellboy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three couples got married and spent their honeymoons at the same hotel, where they were all attended to by Jeff the Bellboy.
The first man married a nurse.
Jeff showed them to their room, all the while thinking to himself, "Lucky guy! Nurses are known to be hot to trot."
The second man married a telephone operator.
Jeff showed them to their room, while thinking to himself, "Wow, he's one lucky dude. Telephone operators have such sexy voices and once you pop that top button.. Va-voom."
The third man married a school teacher.
Jeff showed them to their room and thought to himself, "Poor sap. She may be pretty, but teachers are way too frigid."
At 5:30 the following morning, Jeff reported to work. He expected the teacher's husband to call for breakfast any minute, but was sure the other two wouldn't call until much later in the day.
The phone rang at 6 a.m. and it was the nurse's husband wanting breakfast. Jeff took breakfast up to the room and when the husband opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man's pajamas were still pressed and his hair nicely combed.
"Sir, what happened?" asked Jeff. "You married a nurse."
"Son, don't ever marry a nurse," the man sourly replied. "All I heard last night was her nagging voice saying, 'You're not sanitary, you're not sanitary'."
The phone rang again at 6:30 a.m. and this time it was the telephone operator's husband calling for breakfast. Jeff took it to the room as quickly as possible. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man's hair was neatly combed and his pajamas nicely pressed.
"What happened?" Jeff asked with surprise. "Telephone operators as supposed to be as sexy as their voices."
"Son, don't ever marry a telephone operator," the man groaned. "All I heard last night was her nasal voice saying, 'Your three minutes are up, your three minutes are up'."
Jeff returned to his desk, sure that the teacher's husband would be calling at any moment.
Finally, at 4 p.m., the teacher's husband called for breakfast.
Jeff couldn't believe it, but quickly took the breakfast to the couple's room. When the man opened the door, Jeff stepped back in shock. The man was wearing only a pair of boxers, his hair was a mess, and there were scratches all over his chest, arms and legs.
"My goodness sir, what happened to you?" Jeff asked, fearing the worst. "Did you have a fight?"
The man, grinning from ear to ear, happily replied, "No. Son, when you marry be sure it's to a school teacher. All I heard last night was her sexy, smooth voice saying, 'We're going to do this over, and over, and over again, until we get it right'."
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AfterDawn Addict
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26. January 2006 @ 10:45 |
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same old andmerr :)
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 26. January 2006 @ 10:46
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ddp
Moderator
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26. January 2006 @ 13:25 |
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but good!!!
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andmerr
Suspended permanently
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26. January 2006 @ 17:51 |
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seeya next friday with another one
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Wolf36
Junior Member
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1. February 2006 @ 12:31 |
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You are correct Weazel200 Andmerr is old
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AfterDawn Addict
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1. February 2006 @ 12:41 |
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i was actually implying that it's the same andmerr that's always funny.
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Wolf36
Junior Member
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1. February 2006 @ 14:18 |
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I know Ijust like busting Andmerr's chops
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