|
|
|
GrandpaBW: its friday funnies
|
|
AfterDawn Addict
|
9. May 2006 @ 05:41 |
Link to this message
|
|
I just noticed that the name of this thread has been changed. Thanks for the honor, I think. :) This really is my favorite thread at AD.
Now if we could only get Andmerr to come back, then life would really be good.
Life is good!
GrandpaBruce - Vietnam Vet - 1970 - 1971
Computer: Intel Core i7-920 Nehalim;Asus P6T Deluxe V2
|
|
Advertisement
|
|
|
|
|
brobear
Suspended permanently
|
9. May 2006 @ 08:46 |
Link to this message
|
|
Lethal_B
The link was still working when I checked it just a few minutes ago. It said I'm still "cool". LOL
|
|
regor
Senior Member
|
9. May 2006 @ 19:32 |
Link to this message
|
|
what the heck is a shoutbox? is recently I heard the term and am curious. I assume it's a PM area.
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
AfterDawn Addict
|
9. May 2006 @ 19:37 |
Link to this message
|
click on my or GrandpaBW name and it will take ye to our shout box..
Go here and click on
http://www.afterdawn.com/
go here
Visit My account -page
then here to set up a shout box
NEW! Create your own profile page [beta]
cheers
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 9. May 2006 @ 19:42
|
|
regor
Senior Member
|
9. May 2006 @ 19:42 |
Link to this message
|
|
yeah but... what is 30 square, anyway? even if Ireland doesn't know :)
I know what 2 30 is. In case anyone wonders...
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
|
regor
Senior Member
|
9. May 2006 @ 19:46 |
Link to this message
|
|
aye aye Ireland. thanks for the shout.
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
AfterDawn Addict
|
9. May 2006 @ 19:49 |
Link to this message
|
|
30sq is 900
or 30 sq root is 5.477225575051661134569697828008
|
|
regor
Senior Member
|
9. May 2006 @ 19:54 |
Link to this message
|
|
ahem... already knew that. tell me something (other that what's a shout box ;) I don't already know... GrandpaBW originally stated the quest wans't what is 30 squared, which = 900
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
AfterDawn Addict
|
9. May 2006 @ 19:59 |
Link to this message
|
|
click on my name on the left,as i said b-4 to see mine to get a idea...
i did not read what GrandpaBW posted and i do not know what he ment..
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 9. May 2006 @ 20:00
|
Junior Member
|
10. May 2006 @ 09:59 |
Link to this message
|
sig made by me, i think. |
|
Auslander
AfterDawn Addict
|
10. May 2006 @ 10:03 |
Link to this message
|
|
that is hi-fscking-larious.
|
Junior Member
|
10. May 2006 @ 10:04 |
Link to this message
|
|
good im not the only one with a sick sense of humor, cause i thought it was freaking awesome.
sig made by me, i think.
|
|
brobear
Suspended permanently
|
10. May 2006 @ 13:23 |
Link to this message
|
|
Guess it's not for everyone, I missed the humor in that one.
|
Newbie
|
10. May 2006 @ 17:48 |
Link to this message
|
thanks to svar91 for making my userbar!!! |
Junior Member
|
10. May 2006 @ 19:00 |
Link to this message
|
|
like i said i have a sick sense of humor.
sig made by me, i think.
|
|
brobear
Suspended permanently
|
10. May 2006 @ 19:47 |
Link to this message
|
|
To each his own I guess. Some people think torture is funny.
|
|
brobear
Suspended permanently
|
10. May 2006 @ 19:52 |
Link to this message
|
|
Ma was in the kitchen fiddling around
when she hollers out...."Pa! You need to go out and
fix the outhouse!"
Pa replies, "There ain't nuthin wrong with the outhouse."
Ma yells back, "Yes there is, now git out there and fix it."
So......Pa mosies out to the outhouse,
looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin
wrong with the outhouse! "
Ma replies, "Stick yur head in the hole!"
Pa yells back, "I ain't stickin my head in that hole!"
Ma says, "Ya have to stick yur head in the hole to see
what to fix."
So with that, Pa sticks his head in the hole,
looks around and yells back, "Ma! There ain't nuthin wrong
with this outhouse!"
Ma hollers back, "Now take your head out of the hole!"
Pa proceeds to pull his head out of the hole,
then starts yelling, "Ma!
Help! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!"
To which Ma replies, "Hurt's, don't it
|
|
brobear
Suspended permanently
|
10. May 2006 @ 19:55 |
Link to this message
|
|
Subject: Diary of a six day cruise
DEAR DIARY ... DAY ONE I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.
DEAR DIARY .. DAY TWO We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.
DEAR DIARY ... DAY THREE I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffle boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.
DEAR DIARY ... DAY FOUR Went to the ship's casino ... did OK .. won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.
DEAR DIARY ... DAY FIVE Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.
DEAR DIARY ... DAY SIX I saved 1600 lives today .... twice !!!!
|
AfterDawn Addict
1 product review
|
11. May 2006 @ 10:26 |
Link to this message
|
|
A blonde girl comes back from school one evening.
She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?"
"Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom.
"Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks.
"Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." The mom says.
Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! It's good, innit?"
"Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom.
"Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" she asks.
"Yes, darling it's because you're blonde." The mom says.
Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?"
"No darling, it's because you're 25."
----------------------------------------------------
A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.
The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.
The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."
After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."
The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.
The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.
"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."
----------------------------------------------------
A blPanting and perspiring, two blondes on a tandem bicycle at last got to the top of a steep hill.
"That was a steep climb," said the first blonde.
"It certainly was," replied the second. "It's a good thing we kept the brake on so we wouldn't have slid backwards."
------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde and brunette are walking along and the brunette turns to the blonde and said 'my husband had really bad dandruff, so I gave him "Head & Shoulders".'
The blonde says 'how do you give shoulders?!
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 11. May 2006 @ 10:27
|
AfterDawn Addict
|
30. May 2006 @ 04:20 |
Link to this message
|
|
Bob and Hank are out fishing and sipping beer while discussing football and golf. All of a sudden Hank says, "I think I'm gonna divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 6 months."
Bob sips his beer and says, "you better think it over - women like that are hard to find.
Life is good!
GrandpaBruce - Vietnam Vet - 1970 - 1971
Computer: Intel Core i7-920 Nehalim;Asus P6T Deluxe V2
|
AfterDawn Addict
|
30. May 2006 @ 04:24 |
Link to this message
|
|
New Tax Laws
The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male p@nis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1st, 2002, the p@nis will be taxed according to size.
The brackets are as follows:
10 - 12" Luxury Tax $30.00 Which one would be your tax bracket?
8 - 10" Pole Tax $25.00
5 - 8" Privilege Tax $15.00
4 - 5" Nuisance Tax $3.00
Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains.
Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!
|
|
regor
Senior Member
|
7. June 2006 @ 10:54 |
Link to this message
|
|
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their flights. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel, and unlike years ago, there was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without noticing his error, sent the email. Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory after suffering a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room and found his mother on the floor. He glanced up and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Date: Tuesday, June 6, 2006
Subject: I have Arrived!
Dearest Love:
I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I just arrived and have already checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. I look forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
PS: Sure is freaking hot down here!!
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
|
regor
Senior Member
|
7. June 2006 @ 13:54 |
Link to this message
|
|
This equation should be taught in all math classes From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% !
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass-kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
regor
Yuk Yuk... If only I was half cow... |
|
guyrus
Suspended due to non-functional email address
|
10. June 2006 @ 12:18 |
Link to this message
|
|
nice regor , where do you get this stuff
and then what happened.......................
pity this andmerr guy got banned, he was very funny.Think that was his biggest joke......
This message has been edited since posting. Last time this message was edited on 10. June 2006 @ 12:19
|
|
Advertisement
|
|
|
|
ddp
Moderator
|
10. June 2006 @ 16:17 |
Link to this message
|
|
i wonder what happened to that lazy bum!!??
|
|
